The Alpha's Call
by RitaChaCha
Summary: A continuation of the Twilight Saga set after Breaking Dawn. Leah Clearwater doesn't understand her relationship with Jacob, or why Sam won't let her go - but more than anything, she is confused by her connection to the boy with the big brown eyes. Reasonably canon-compliant, but includes vikings. A story about love and redemption.
1. Love Lost

_**All storylines and characters in this story that bear a resemblance to the Twilight Saga belong to Stephenie Meyer. Everything else in this story belongs to me. No copying or reproduction of this work (or any part thereof) is permitted without my express written authorisation.**_

A/N: I have had this one kicking around in my head for almost the same amount of time as BaB. I promised myself I would try and finish an original story before I got stuck into this, but my muse is demanding I put pen to paper now – and who am I to argue? This is a very different fic from BaB and takes place after the end of Breaking Dawn. It is (reasonably) canon compliant, but more angst-ridden.

Suggested listening: "Open Season" by Jospeh Salvat, "Like I Can" by Sam Smith and "If I had a heart" by Fever Ray.

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 **1.** **Love Lost**

It started with the slightest of touches: the back of his hand brushing lightly against her knee as they sat side by side at a bonfire.

She didn't say anything because a certain amount of contact was inevitable when you were trying to squish a bunch of gigantic werewolves on log-seats that had not been fashioned with the supernatural in mind. That and it felt kind of nice.

By the end of the night, she was certain that the stroking was not accidental. His fingers had definitely moved the tiniest bit _higher_ and while they were pressed firmly against her thigh, there was an obvious gap stretching between them and the rest of him. He was reaching out to her.

Still she didn't say anything, and still she didn't know why.

It set the precedent for every shape-shifter function to come. They always seemed to find themselves adjacent to one another and, even when he wasn't patting her in some way, she could _taste_ the space between them.

She wanted to ask him what he was playing at, but the ship had sailed on that one. She hadn't done that the first time and she knew that raising the subject now would mean a discussion about all the other times it had happened with her tacit consent (albeit a lack of active participation).

She was pretty sure he wasn't trying to get into her pants. She was fucking Jacob and everyone _knew_ she was fucking Jacob (supernatural senses meant nothing much was left to their imagination), but still something simmered secretly in the shadows.

Jacob didn't seem to notice the unusual connection hanging between his Beta and another pack mate. It was unlikely that he ever would with his precocious imprint always demanding his attention.

Leah was still a little fuzzy on how Jacob was able to be attracted to her even after imprinting, but he assured her that he most definitely was, and all the physical signs seemed to confirm it. In the circumstances, she wasn't going to get too hung up on details. She was a hot blooded wolf, not a nun, and she was tired of being lonely. The Cullens seemed pretty zen about the whole thing. She'd thought Edward might go all Victorian control-freak on her and claim that she was horning in on the spirit-ordained betrothal that was holding their freaky allegiance together, but he'd actually warmed to her after he'd gotten wind of her relationship with her Alpha. The only people who had voiced concerns were Bella and Sam. _Naturally_.

Bella claimed she didn't want there to be any drama in a few years time when Nessie matured, but Leah knew better. The girl had gotten used to being the most important person in Jacob's life, and even married and with a child she couldn't fathom him with another lover. Things were definitely going to be interesting when Jacob and Nessie finally did get together. Leah would pay good money to hear how Bella and Jacob explained their previous relationship to her daughter and his soul mate. Yuck.

Sam was harder to understand. He had left Leah for her cousin, Emily, and was soon to be married, so why he was getting his knickers in a knot over who Leah bumped uglies with was a mystery. He and Jacob had come to blows on more than one occasion and the hurt look on Emily's face seemed to be the only thing keeping him in line. Leah reasoned that the two-Alpha situation was an anomaly and they were both bound to be looking for things to snipe over. If it wasn't her, it would have been something equally trivial.

With all the weird emotions swirling around, Leah didn't think twice when Jacob told her he was leaving La Push and asked her to go with him.

 _A one way ticket away from all the crazy bullshit? Yes, please!_

The Cullens had been in Forks for two years before Bella's arrival and another two years since then. People were bound to start asking questions about Carlisle looking like he'd had more botox than Joan Rivers, let alone the fast-growing midget that was permanently attached to either Edward, Jacob or Bella.

Jacob gave his whole pack the choice, but Leah was the only one who agreed to go with the vampires. The rest were being transferred back to Sam like library books.

Leah would rather walk over hot coals than be back under Sam's thumb.

The date was fixed and she packed her meagre possessions. She was sad to be leaving her Mom and Seth, but Sue had Charlie and her brother was probably the most popular person she knew. It was Leah who had nothing but bad memories and heartache in every corner of the Olympic Peninsula. Still, she loved the land - _her people's land –_ and in her final morning in Washington she found herself going on one last stroll through the forest that she had come to know on four legs just as well as she did on two.

She savoured the way the sunlight pushed through the thick canopy, the smell of the earth beneath her feet and the way the moss tickled her toes.

"You don't have to do this, you know," a familiar voice interrupted her exploration.

Her shoulders tensed. _Surely he wasn't picking now for the chat they had always avoided?_ "Do what?" She settled for acting dumb and hoped he would take a leaf out of her playbook.

"You don't have to run away with Jacob just because you don't want to be in a pack with Sam."

She glared at him. "Actually, I sort of do. I tried running off on my own plenty of times, but the spirits seem to think that non-Alphas need to belong to someone. I'm choosing the guy who _didn't_ fuck my cousin before he dumped me, the guy who _didn't_ then continue to shove the whole fiasco in my face at every possible opportunity."

Her usual abrasiveness didn't faze him. It never had. He looked at her with those warm brown eyes, so full of understanding and affection and Leah felt every bit the bitch that she knew they all called her behind her back.

"I know what it's like to feel unwanted, Leah. _Believe me_ – but I'm not suggesting you go back to Sam. You can be in Jacob's pack without physically following him and the Cullens. Stay. _Please_."

The way he said 'please' made something twist inside of her. _This was why she had been steering clear of him._ He stepped closer to her, stretching his hand out. She wanted to move away but his eyes had locked her in place. They both felt her heart stutter as he tucked a stray wisp of hair behind her ear.

"You're selling yourself short with Jacob," he murmured.

Leah bristled. "Everyone's got a fucking opinion, don't they?"

He shrugged. "Probably, but in this situation I'd bet that most have the same one. You deserve to have someone's _whole heart_ Leah, not just dregs from a guy who's usually otherwise occupied."

"So young and naive," Leah ribbed him, trying not to think about the fact that he was actually a few months older than her boyfriend. "I'm perfectly satisfied with Jake. He gives me what I _need_." Why couldn't anyone understand that? She didn't want hearts and flowers and promises. Sam had given her plenty of those and look where that had gotten her. She preferred Jacob's down to earth nature and it didn't bother her in the slightest that their relationship had a use-by date of a little more than six years. It was a relief to have clearly defined parameters to work within. Structure. Order. Everything else in her life was chaos.

Still, those eyes were boring holes into her and she saw something else – a fire burning under the surface. Usually he seemed fairly easygoing, but today was clearly an exception.

"He'll never love you like I can, Leah." He traced a thumb across her cheek.

She snorted at his declaration as she batted his hand away and she didn't miss the hurt that flashed across his face in response. "Until you imprint, right?"

He groaned. "You said once that you _know_ you're not gonna. It's the same with me. I feel it in my bones. 'Sides, isn't it better to make a go of it with someone who _hasn't_ imprinted? We'd be no different from any other human couple. Why would you resign yourself to someone who has?"

"I'm not _resigning_ myself to anything and who I sleep with is _none of your business_ ," she said through gritted teeth.

He sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "It _feels_ like my business. I don't wanna keep doing this dance with you where you let yourself confuse my patience with indifference. I just need to make myself clear before you go and do something so... final."

Leah's chest tightened painfully. _How did he know?_ She'd told everyone else that she'd come back for visits and then to stay after she finished College, but she didn't really mean it.

This was it for her.

As if he sensed her slipping away, he grabbed her face in his palms, moving closer so that she could feel his breath tickling her nose. For a moment she thought he might try and kiss her, but he seemed to think better of it, watching her closely. She would later realise that he was memorising every inch of her features.

They stood there for just a few minutes, but to Leah it felt endless. He smelled good and he was actually really easy on the eye. For a second she wondered if he was right. Maybe this Jacob business was ridiculous and hasty.

She tore her gaze away from his, shaking her head in confusion. _She had decided. Why was he making it so hard?_

"I don't _want_ you," she barked. "Why can't you get a clue?"

The expression on his face would haunt her for years to come. She ripped his heart out and stomped all over it for good measure. He dropped his hands, taking a step back. Leah stared at the ground in shame. She hadn't meant to be so harsh, but he kept pushing her and it was unbearable.

"Be happy, Leah." His voice was little more than a whisper on the wind and by the time she raised her head he was gone.

~~~TAC~~~

She almost ran after him. _Almost._ She'd hunted big game ever since she'd phased, but for the first time in her life she actually felt like she had killed Bambi. _Those eyes_. What had she done?

A twig snapped from behind her and she turned to face the very last person she wanted to see.

"Sam," she said curtly. _Only in La Push would a walk in the woods lead to more social interactions than going to the grocery store_.

"LeeLee," he replied, his voice thick with emotion.

"Don't," she objected, raising her hand to stop him from coming closer. "One of the best things about going is that I won't have listen to you pestering me with a nickname I don't want to hear."

He growled, black eyes blazing with anger. "If you think I'm going to let Jacob snatch you from under my nose and cart you off with a coven of vampires you must be crazy. I won't allow it."

Leah cackled. "What you will or won't allow means shit-all when it comes to me Sammy, and you know it. Besides, the Cullens are my friends – which is more than I can say for you." Leah tried to hide her own surprise at the words that had escaped from her mouth. She'd never described the Cullens as her friends before, although she had a lot of time for Rosalie and her husband. Some of the nicknames Rose had for the pack (including Jacob), made Leah almost wet herself laughing.

"Friends," Sam repeated, looking at her like she was speaking another language.

"Yes Sam, _friends_. They are my friends and Jacob is my friend. People go places with friends and that is what I am doing. Today." She started moving back towards her house, but he jutted a hand out, blocking her exit through the narrow path.

"Jacob is your 'friend'?"

Leah laughed again. "Absolutely. With benefits. The friendship comes first and the benefits second, but sometimes with Jake's stamina they also come third, fourth and fifth." It felt good to rub it in his face, all the more so because Jake was the real Alpha and Sam was just a pretender.

" **STOP** ," Sam hissed, pushing Leah against a tree, trapping her with his body weight.

"Your Alpha voice doesn't mean anything to me," Leah taunted. "Just like you."

It was a lie. No matter how much he hurt her, there was a portion of Leah's heart that was reserved only for Sam. He was her first everything. She accepted that that part of her life was over now, but her time with Sam was the happy days, the pre-wolf existence where her Dad was still alive and Emily was still her best friend.

"I didn't stop loving you just because I imprinted," Sam confessed.

This was not news to Leah, although it was the first time he had ever said it out loud.

"Stay," he pleaded, placing a light kiss on her lips.

"Are you crazy?" she spat. "Get the fuck off me before I tell your imprint that you woke up on the rapey side of the bed. Since when did I ever seem like someone's bit on the side to you?"

He stepped back so that his torso was no longer touching hers, but his arms still boxed her in. "I'm not trying to... I would never... I wouldn't do that to Emily...I just want you to be safe."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Sam. The only thing that's ever put me at real risk of harm is _you_. Being near you makes me want to kill myself."

Sam's jaw dropped. "You don't mean that."

"I'm pretty sure you've spent enough time sharing headspace with me to know I do."

With that, she brought her knee up as hard as she could, striking Sam in the groin. He fell to the ground and she stepped over him quickly, hurrying back home. By the time she'd arrived, the shock of her encounter with Sam had seeped through and she was pale and shaky.

"You okay?" Seth asked her when she reached their backyard.

"Sure, sure," she said, uttering the catch phrase that she had picked up from Jacob. "Just had a miserable run-in in the forest. Boy am I glad to be getting out of here!"

It never occurred to Leah to specify that the incident that had her looking nauseas was the one with Sam, nor did she stop to realise that within days her words would be shared by the whole pack. If she had taken the time to consider that, she would have made things clearer to avoid _him_ from experiencing more pain. Those big brown eyes were sad enough without her adding to his woes.

~~~TAC~~~

Life with the Cullens was simple, as was her relationship with Jake. He was a big sweaty mass of man, but he had a rocking body and a happy-go-lucky disposition that made him easy to get along with.

Leah enrolled in College with Rosalie and got to experience the life that had been on hold from the moment she had first shifted. Bella and Edward picked a different university and Jacob stayed home with Renesmee. There was no way the little hybrid could attend any kind of school while she was still growing so quickly and Jacob was only too happy to fill his days with child-friendly activities. He was a big kid himself. When Bella and Edward got home from their classes they wanted to have family time with their daughter and that freed Jacob up to spend time with Leah. The Cullens had even rented a separate neighbouring house for the wolves, with Esme mindful of their need for privacy as well as the "smell factor" that affected them all, no matter how much they pretended it didn't.

At first she spoke to Seth on the phone every week. He was often tense and she worried about what Sam was doing as Alpha. She even considered breaking her pledge to herself and popping back to La Push for a quick visit. Luckily, at about the six month mark, Seth seemed much more at peace and Leah reasoned that whatever teething issues they initially had were fixed. Sometimes when she chatted to him she would try and fish for news about _him_. For some reason, Seth spoke about everyone else, but never the sweet boy with the big brown eyes. He told her trivial things about Sam, Paul and Jared. He even updated her on Charlie Swan, but he never named _him_ and Leah didn't want to ask specifically, so she was left to wonder. In any event, the time between their calls became more and more spread out and irregular. They were living different lives and Leah was desperate to leave her previous one behind.

A year went by, then two and Leah felt herself finally relaxing. Her wolf adored Jacob and even though she repeatedly told herself that he was "Mr Right now", not "Mr Right", her attachment to him grew as time passed. He told her a few times that he loved her but she never said it back to him and eventually asked him not to say it anymore. Despite her silence, by end of her third and final year of study, Leah was undeniably in something very much like love with Jacob Black – and more than that – she was _happy_.

Then everything went wrong.

In her fourth year with the Cullens, Renesemee, who was physically five years old and looked around fifteen, was deemed old enough to start high school. Her aging had stopped being something out of a horror movie and was now mimicking normal adolescence. Naturally, Jacob wanted to go with her and the Cullens decided to dummy-up papers that put them both in tenth grade.

Leah couldn't understand why Jacob would want to go through his sophomore year again (although given that he flunked out the first time, it probably wasn't the worst idea), but the difficult part was that they were now on completely different schedules. She had an office job and was busy all day. He now had homework which he wanted to do at night.

With his gal pal, Renesmee.

At first they stayed their usual buddy-buddy selves. Jacob still came to her bed at night and their bond seemed unaffected by the change in routine, but slowly, slowly things began to dissolve.

Renesmee began giving Jacob shy glances when she thought no one was looking.

Leah noticed. A girlfriend notices things like that.

The worst part was when she started to see Jacob giving them in return.

She had thought they might have a little more time, but she was about to get the shaft in a big way and she didn't want to stick around and wait for Jacob to have to _ask_ her to leave. It was bad enough that she was losing Jacob, she didn't want to be completely humiliated in the process.

The final trigger was a flyer for the upcoming school dance left carelessly by Jacob on his bedside table. He was going with Renesmee.

Leah didn't want to be waiting on the other side of the door when he and the hybrid returned and had to awkwardly navigate whether they would have their first kiss, didn't want him to come home stinking of his imprint because they'd spent all night slow-dancing together, so she did the thing that she'd always known she would have to do (but was somehow completely unprepared for): early one morning, with the briefest of farewell notes, she left.

~~~TAC~~~

She stayed off the grid because she didn't want Jasper to track her down. She suspected after so many years with the Cullens, they wouldn't let a small thing like being traded in for a younger model excuse Leah from their group. She didn't want to argue her case with them, so she stayed wolf as much as possible, roaming through the wilds of Alaska and Canada. She drifted aimlessly, careful to make sure she phased back to her human form once the classes Jacob shared with Renesmee were over. She knew he'd never bail on those and she used her thorough knowledge of his schedule to avoid ever being in a position where he could order her back to him.

In darker moments she wondered if that was entirely unnecessary because he most likely hadn't given her a second thought since she disappeared. That was the nature of the imprint, the more Nessie wanted, the less there was left over for Leah.

She tried ringing Seth once when she veered too close to civilisation and happened upon a payphone. A strange woman had answered the call. Leah actually thought she might have dialled the wrong number, but when she asked for her brother there was a lot of yelling. "Just a sec, I'm with Vic," Seth had hollered in the background. It sounded like the whole pack was at her house and Leah suddenly didn't want to have a conversation with wolf ears listening in. She hung up before Seth could pick up the receiver.

 _She wasn't part of that world anymore._

After six months she stopped worrying about when she phased. She spent all her time running as a wolf. She could see now why Jacob had done this for weeks on end. It was liberating to give everything up to the inner animal. Her mind felt clearer, less anxious. Yes, she'd been unlucky in love – _again_ \- but she had chosen that and now she was free.

By the time she ran into the other wolf and his pack, she had stopped marking days and locations altogether. Her ears pricked and she kept her nose low to the ground as she sniffed at the trail of something decidedly two-natured. With her speed she soon caught up to the creature, only to be faced with the biggest canine she had ever seen. His fur was as white as snow and she let out a small whine of surprise as he morphed into his human form right before her.

He was easily seven feet tall and made of muscle. He had blonde hair that was closely shaved on either side, with a long braid made of the locks that sat in the middle of his scalp. His blonde beard was tied at the end and he was covered in tattoos.

He was speaking to her but she didn't understand the language. He tried another tongue and French before he started on English.

"Come now, I show you mine, surely you can show me yours," the voice teased.

"Gunnar, she doesn't have clothes. Perhaps if you turned around while I gave her a blanket?"

Leah eyed the girl in shock, sniffing again to check what she had sensed. Another female wolf! Realising that she might never have another chance like this, she phased in full view of the large male and his much less intimidating, but equally blonde companion.

"I could tell from the way you moved your head that English was the right choice," the girl said as she handed Leah a long woven cloth. "I am Eira and this is Gunnar."

"I'm Leah," the Quileute said quietly, focussing on Eira but noticing from the corner of her eye that Gunnar had shamelessly ogled her before she'd been able to fully swaddle herself in the blanket.

"It has been a long time since I met a wolf not of my own kin," Gunnar said. He spoke formally and with an odd accent.

"I'm not from around here," Leah mumbled

"I can see." Gunnar responded. "Won't you join us for a drink? The rest of my people are hunting but I am making camp here."

That was how Leah came to have makeshift tea with an unclothed man who resembled a norse god. They sat across from one another, with Eira hovering in the background. Her form was covered by a long muslin tunic, but neither her feet or dress made a sound as she moved _._

"How long have you been a wolf, Leah?" Gunnar regarded her intently. His eyes were a pale green and they twinkled as he spoke. Leah could tell instantly that he was trouble – the exact sort of trouble that she would make friends with if she wasn't careful.

"Around five years, maybe? I'm not exactly sure what day or month it is anymore."

Gunnar laughed. "Neither am I. I measure by life by the seasons." He paused, "But how old were you when your body embraced the wolf?"

Leah hid a smile. She _really_ liked the way Gunnar spoke. It was like she'd travelled back in time. "I was almost nineteen when I first phased."

Gunnar looked surprised.

"Is that strange?" she asked.

"It's a little older than I would expect for your first time," Gunnar admitted, "But it is not unheard of. I am sure you know by now that anything is possible."

Leah realised that she was giving away far more information than she was getting. "How old are you?" she asked.

"I have seen more than a thousand winters," Gunnar said proudly, "And I was fourteen when I first embraced my wolf."

Leah nearly choked on her tea. "You're more than a thousand years old?"

Gunnar nodded. "The world changes but the wolf doesn't".

Leah swallowed. She was having tea with a nudist Viking who'd had more than five bicentenaries. It was times like this she wished she still had friends so that she could share the oddity of the situation with someone.

"And why are you alone, Leah?" he asked, cocking his head to one side.

As charming as he was, something about his question set the hairs at the back of her neck on end. "I'm not alone," she lied. "I've gone for a run, but I'll be heading home soon."

Gunnar smiled. "And where is home?"

Leah was stumped. _She no longer knew how to answer that question._

"Gunnar, you scare her," Eira chided, mistaking Leah's confusion for wariness.

"It's okay," Leah interjected, determined to get back on the front foot. "You're the Alpha?" she asked Gunnar.

"Alpha?" he repeated.

"Yeah. The boss, the big kahuna, the leader."

His mischievous smirk was back. "Oh yes. For my group of twelve, I am the chief."

"How many women do you have in your group?" Leah pressed.

Gunnar's gaze flicked to Eira before settling back on Leah. "Just one. As you are probably aware, female wolves are rare unless there is an army necessary to fight the Draugr."

"Draugr?"

"You call them vampires," Eira explained, topping up their glasses.

"How many women do you have in your group?" Gunnar asked, leaning forward.

That nervous feeling prickled in Leah's stomach again. Gunnar was scary in his intensity. "Just me."

"Just you?" Gunnar stroked his beard thoughtfully. "And yet your leader let you go off on your own?"

"He's got an imprint to manage. I'm not high on the priority list right now," Leah was unable to hide the bitterness in her voice.

"Imprint?" Eira enquired.

Leah bit her lip. "Yeah an imprint is like a mate, the other half of your soul."

Eira and Gunnar shared a look. "Your leader did not take you for a mate?" Eira came to sit next to her, obviously curious.

Leah scowled. The _last_ thing she wanted to be doing right now was discussing her tragic love life.

"Forgive my intrusion," Eira went on. "It's just that we are so unusual - Gunnar and I – in that we never mated."

Leah raised an eyebrow. _Why exactly was that weird? Gunnar was good looking, but he was also plenty creepy. If that didn't do it for Eira, Leah couldn't really blame her_.

Eira interpreted Leah's gesture as an invitation to continue. "As the leading female, my place is traditionally by Gunnar's side... but before we all embraced the wolf, I was very much in love with Gunnar's younger brother, Bjarke. Out of respect for Bjarke, Gunnar never pressed his claim. It is a little odd, but as Gunnar and I will never be beholden to mate-magic it was a choice we were able to make. I worried that the gods would use their magic to select another for Bjarke, but we have lived a very isolated existence to avoid that very outcome."

Leah gaped at Eira, trying to make sense of what she was saying. The words swum in circles around her head over and over until she finally found a way to filter them.

"I think what you call mate-magic is what we call 'imprinting'. It happens the first time a wolf sees his predestined mate. After that, she is the only thing that matters and he would do anything for her." _Even leave a fiancé or spend an endless amount of time in high school._

Eira crinkled her brow. "Yes. That is the meaning of mate-magic. But didn't you say your Alpha imprinted?"

Leah sighed. "Yes. He did. On a girl when she was an hour or two old."

"Alphas don't imprint," Gunnar retorted. "That's why Eira and I could spare Bjarke from pain."

Leah jumped to her feet. "Listen buddy. There are _two_ packs where I come from and _both_ Alphas _freaking imprinted_. It happened. I was there!"

Gunnar slowly raised himself from the ground, dipping his head so that he was staring right at Leah. "You are foolish, but that is not unexpected given your youth. You clearly know less than nothing. A true Alpha is free. No mate-magic can sway him. An imprinted Alpha is a false Alpha. To be chief of wolves you must be the first-born son of the last chief of wolves or his descendents." He brought a hand to her collarbone, brushing the blanket aside so that it hung at her shoulder. "If you cannot find a wolf leader to claim you Leah, I would be willing to take you for myself."

Leah shivered under Gunnar's heated gaze. There was something oddly compelling about him. Despite all her suspicions, he was one of two people in her lifetime that had been able to affect her so greatly with eyes alone.

That comparison, that similarity, drew her mind to the _other one_. The boy with the big brown eyes.

Leah forgot to breathe as a million loose thoughts reordered themselves in her mind.

 _An imprinted Alpha is a false Alpha_.

She phased and Gunnar stepped backwards in shock. Eira called to her but she was already running, her paws thundering against the ground.

 _To be chief of wolves you must be the first-born son of the last chief of wolves or his descendents_.

She hadn't known – none of them had known - but suddenly Leah attached new meaning to those longing looks and hopeful caresses that she had dismissed so offhandedly so many years ago.

There was only one unimprinted person whose origins were a mystery – a sweet boy with an unspecified Quileute ancestry.

Leah heard Gunnar and Eira trailing behind her and she surged ahead. She had always been the fastest wolf. She guided her lean body into a nearby shallow creek to obscure her tracks, never letting up her pace. One word, one thought, drove her faster and faster as it repeated on an endless loop in her mind.

 _Embry_.

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 **A/N: If you review, both Gunnar and Embry will give you kisses! This is a one-shot for now, but I have a multi-chapter story in mind. Let me know if you would be interested in a longer fic as you might be able to convince me!**


	2. Tough Love

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews guys! Please keep up the feedback as it is a huge motivator. Now, hold on to your hats. This is going to be a rocky ride.**

Suggested listening: "Strong" by London Grammar, "The Wolf" by Fever Ray and "Birds" by Anouk.

 **2.** **Tough Love**

It was late in the afternoon when Leah arrived at the edge of the backyard of the Clearwater family home. She had been running for days - from the icy hinterlands of northern Canada to the rainy forests of the Olympic Peninsula - and now that she had reached her destination, she found herself hesitating.

She hadn't showered in months. There had been rivers, snow and rainfall – but it wasn't the same. She was grubby. Her hair was shaggy and there was grit beneath her nails and ingrained on her flesh. She didn't have any clothes and she thanked the universe that her house bordered woodland.

She crept slowly behind the old shed where her father used to keep his tools and sighted the clothesline. After so many weeks of nothing but the orange and brown of autumn, the range of colour was almost dizzying. She flicked past some unusually small tops and pants until she spotted a large men's shirt. She yanked it down quickly and pulled it on.

It felt odd to be dressed. The fabric was restrictive and uncomfortable against skin that was used to being bare.

She tiptoed towards the back door, pausing as she positioned her hand on the handle. This was her place, she'd always just barged in...

 _But she'd never been away from it for so long before._

She pushed through the entrance, rapping her knuckles across the frame and calling out as she did.

"H-Hello? Anybody home?"

The words almost stuck in her throat. Other than an entirely surreal brief conversation with a thousand year old shape shifter, she hadn't talked in as long as she could remember.

She padded forward into the kitchen, pleased by the familiarity of the orange and green formica surfaces that had been picked out by her parents long before she was born. She opened the top left cupboard and pulled out a glass, filling it quickly at the sink.

"Leah?"

She stilled. _She knew that voice._ She placed the tumbler down and turned slowly, not prepared for how much she would be affected by the sound and smell of someone she loved so much.

"Seth!" She threw herself towards him and he caught her, wrapping his arms around her in a fierce hug.

"Hey, sis."

It had been so long since she had allowed anyone to provide her with any kind of comfort. His arms were warm and _home_. She didn't want to move and he didn't make her. She choked back a sob as he patted her shoulder.

 _How had she gone so many years without seeing him?_

Eventually she drew back, blinking rapidly to offset the watering at the edges of her eyes. She hadn't taken a proper look at him before – she'd greeted him with instinct driving her – but now she found herself taking in his full height and solid features.

The baby-face that followed him into his werewolf growth spurt had hollowed out and been replaced by angular, chiselled features that were all the more prominent because of his closely-shaved haircut. He was at least six-foot-seven, rivalling even Jacob's height.

She gaped at him. _Her little brother was anything but little now_.

"I've been expecting you," Seth said softy when her gawking made her forget to respond to his earlier greeting.

Leah frowned. "You have?"

Seth's lips quirked at the edges and for a moment she saw a glimpse of the young boy she had known so well. "Yep. Jacob's been calling every day - sometimes twice a day - since February. I figured it was only a matter of time before you found your way here."

Leah didn't know what to make of that. She hadn't imagined that Jacob would do much more than try and reach out to her when he was in wolf form.

"What happened?" Seth asked.

Leah blinked again. Words and human thoughts were harder than she remembered them being. Everything felt too loud and artificial. She'd been a wolf for so long that _that_ form felt like the norm. Being on two legs was the exception that drained her energy.

"Lee?" Seth prodded.

"Nothing," she replied automatically, realising as she said the words that it was true. _Nothing had happened with Jacob_. Nothing out of the ordinary or unexpected, just exactly what she'd always known would come to pass.

It was Seth's turn to be silent now. He leaned back against the counter, scrutinising his older sister. "When's the last time you ate something?"

Leah's stomach verged on rumbling at the mere mention of food. "Human stuff or raw?"

Seth's eyes widened. "You hate eating raw, Lee."

She shrugged her shoulders. "It has its perks." _Like being able to live completely like an animal._

Seth smiled. "I could have made some good money off the rest of the pack if I made a bet with them about whether you would."

Leah felt her own face grinning back in response. "Do it. I won't tell them we rigged it."

Seth leaned forward to pluck a leaf out of her hair and he grimaced as he caught sight of the clock behind her.

"Are you staying long?"

Leah paused. It was a reasonable enough question, but she didn't know the answer. She hadn't expected to return in the first place.

"Maybe... maybe we could talk about everything after I have a nap?" She was so tired and a good sleep in her own bed was the closest thing to paradise she could imagine.

"Okay," Seth agreed. "I'll call Quil. He's got a spare room."

He reached out to grab the receiver and Leah blocked his hand, her face marred with confusion.

"Why would I stay with Quil? I'll just go upstairs and we'll have a chat in a few hours."

Seth sighed, shaking her hand away. "I've got roommates. There are four people living in this house and we're already packed to the rafters. Quil's the only person with enough space."

He dialled the number as Leah tried to process what he was saying. Her mother had moved in with Charlie Swan years ago, _so who was living in her house?_

"It's me," Seth barked into the receiver. "Leah's here and needs a place to stay. **You need to come and get her now**." He hung up the phone without as much as a goodbye and Leah's jaw dropped.

 _She knew that tone of voice_.

It was a timbre that she herself had used on many occasions before she and Jake had left with the Cullens.

 _The sound of the second in command_.

Seth's eyes flicked back to the clock again and Leah observed that he was _nervous_.

"Wha-... How?" She had a thousand questions and no strategy for how to ask any of them.

"Quil will be here any minute," Seth announced, ignoring her astonishment. "I'm assuming you don't have any belongings with you?" He opened the storage space under the stairs and began rifling through it.

Leah shook her head, although with his back to her Seth couldn't see it. _She literally had nothing_. "I sort of helped myself to your shirt."

Seth froze. "It's not mine," he responded before turning around with a cardboard box in his arms. He opened the flap and Leah recognised the garments folded neatly in the carton. "You took most of your stuff with you, but you left these."

He passed the container to her and she accepted it dumbly. Everything was moving so quickly and she had no idea what was going on.

"Y-you... you don't want me here?" It was all she could think to ask. She had just arrived and Seth seemed desperate to hurry her out the door.

His face softened. " _I can't have you here_ _._ There is a difference, Leah. We'll talk more about it after you've had a rest, just like you asked. Okay?"

Leah nodded uncertainly. He sounded reasonable, but everything felt all wrong.

"Someone called a she-wolf ferry service?" Quil's voice cut through their discussion and she twisted to see the familiar burly figure.

Leah was relieved that he looked just as she remembered. His wavy hair was a little longer than before, but otherwise he was the same Quil; goofy expression plastered on his face and meaty limbs swinging as he walked.

"Quil," she squeaked, surprised to realise she had missed him.

"Hi Leah. Never thought we'd be roomies, but me casa su casa." Leah smirked at Quil's terrible Spanish. His accent was hard on the ears, but had the effect of easing the tension. He tossed an arm around her shoulder and hugged her awkwardly with the box in between them. "Where you been, chica?" Seth gave Quil a pointed look and before she could answer the older wolf continued prattling. "Actually, tell me after we get you home and cleaned up. I don't mean to be rude, but you stink worse than a men's locker room." He pulled her to him and Leah felt herself being guided out the door and towards the rusted pick-up parked haphazardly on the lawn.

She stopped at the exit, casting a glace back at the stranger her brother had turned into. "Sh-should I come back?" she stammered as she asked him, not sure that she would be able to cope with his answer.

Quil and Seth exchanged another look over her head and she almost stamped her foot in frustration.

"Of course," Seth replied. "Collin's birthday party is tomorrow. We'll see you at that, right?"

Quil didn't wait for Leah to react before shepherding her into the passenger seat of his truck and slamming the door. Instead of coming around to the driver's side, he edged back towards Seth.

"What does she know?" he hissed.

Seth responded under his breath, "Other than that I gave you an order? _Nothing_."

Leah had been a feral wolf for so long that she heard every word they said, even though normally such soft tones would escape even the sharpest of supernatural ears.

"How the fuck am I supposed to have her stay with me if I can't tell her anything? What do I do when she starts asking questions?" Quil snuck a glance back at her and Leah pretended to fiddle with the dials on the car radio. "What are you going to do when Jake calls again?"

Seth threw up his hands in annoyance. "I don't know. We literally _can't_ do anything while the order stands, so just do your best and improvise - and for god's sake, get her out of here before anybody gets home!"

"Alright, alright," Quil backed up with his palms in front of him in submission. "Ring me when they get back? The rules have to change now."

"I will and I know," Seth murmured.

Quil was almost back at the truck when Seth called to him again.

"Look after my sister, okay?"

Quil tipped his head in agreement and before Leah knew it they were driving further into the reservation. She peeked through the rear-vision mirror, watching as the outline of her brother grew smaller and smaller.

"Seth's different now," she said, almost to herself.

Quil exhaled heavily. "Everything's different now."

~~~TAC~~~

Quil's apartment was much cleaner than Leah would have expected. She'd spent years living with Jake and he seemed to trail a mess in every direction just by inhabiting a space, but Quil had a sparsely furnished combined living-dining area and three small rooms adjoining it.

"That's the bathroom," Quil pointed to the middle door. "I'll make us some food while you freshen up. I've got patrol in a few hours."

Leah glared at him. _She'd had enough of wolves that used to tremble at her orders pushing her around._

"Seth _commanded_ you to come and get me... When the fuck did my little brother get given Jared's role?" It made no sense. Seth had always hated Sam and Sam thought of Seth as Leah's pesky little brother.

Quil looked at her helplessly. "Ever had a secret that wasn't yours to tell?"

Leah rolled her eyes. "I'm a wolf. You can tell me anything."

He shook his head. "You're not in my pack. You know it doesn't work that way."

Her mind raced as she considered the possibilities. Maybe something had happened to Jared or he'd gone away to College. Maybe Seth had simply gotten so big that they'd had to acknowledge him as a better candidate.

 _Or maybe Sam wasn't the Alpha anymore. Maybe they had realised there was a better candidate for that too._

"Is Embry the Alpha?" Leah pressed.

Quil's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "Why would you say that?"

She didn't bother responding. Quil might not be allowed to tell her things, but he didn't have a very good poker face.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" she exclaimed.

Quil gripped her shoulders. "Leah, will you die if we can't have this discussion right now?"

She released a ragged breath. "No."

"Good. Then go have a shower and we will talk after."

She considered his words before flouncing off into the bathroom. _How long ago had this happened?_ The hot water cleansed her body but did nothing to eradicate the confusion. She might not have visited home, but she had maintained telephone and email contact with her mother and Seth. Jacob had seen his family in Hawaii more than four times when he had gone to visit Rebecca after the birth of each of her children and for two separate Christmases. Billy, Paul and Rachel had all been there.

 _So how could something like this have been kept under wraps?_

She scrubbed her skin until it was red, peeling away layer after layer of dead flesh. She clipped her nails, shaved her legs and applied liberal amounts of moisturiser. By the end of her extensive grooming ritual she felt like she vaguely resembled a human girl again, albeit a very perplexed and shaken one. Her hair still looked crazy, but there was nothing in Quil's bathroom cabinets that would help her fix that.

She poked her head out of the washroom just as Quil was hanging up the phone.

"Hi," she said nervously, running a hand along the fluffy bathrobe that she hadn't been able to resist putting on. It had occurred to her that she was homeless and he was doing her a favour. It wasn't going to do her any good to be her bitchiest self.

"Hi," he replied. "You look much better. I know as wolves we say that we prefer au natural, but that was something else, Leah."

She was grateful for a chance to slip back into the good natured bickering that had characterised their relationship all those years ago. "Really Ateara? You pretty much look like a hobo all the time, who are you to judge?"

His eyes twinkled. "Hobos aren't usually landlords, Leah."

"Touché." She cocked her head to one side. "Do you have any scissors? I still need to do my hair."

He opened a few drawers in the kitchen before following her back into the bathroom. "I can do it for you if you like?"

Leah clutched the back of her hair. "I thought we were trying to make me look _less_ freaky?"

He snorted. "I've done Claire's a few times you know. You won't be my first victim."

"Ok Ateara, but mark my words, I'll gut you like a fish if you fuck it up."

"Noted."

He was surprisingly gentle as he drew the threads of her hair back, brushing it to remove all the tangles.

"How is Claire?" she asked as he began clipping the scraggly ends to a sharp line at her shoulders.

"She's good. She's in third grade now. She comes and visits Emily most weekends and I hang out with her then."

"Is that enough?" Leah couldn't imagine such irregular contact between an imprinted wolf and his imprint. Jacob needed daily time with Renesmee to satisfy the pull.

"For us? Yes. Not all the imprints would be able to work that way."

Leah took a deep breath before asking the _real question_ , the one she hadn't been able to get out of her head ever since she had arrived at Quil's.

"When did Embry become Alpha?" Quil stilled, making eye contact with her through the lens of the mirror. "Seth called you while I was cleaning up, right?" Leah continued. "Surely you can give me that one."

Quil snipped another lock of her hair. "More than three and a half years ago."

Leah gasped. "How is it possible that no one told Jake or me in all that time?"

Quil pursed his lips. "I dunno Leah. How is it possible that neither you or Jake came back in all that time to ask the question?"

"How did he find out? Did Billy tell him? Why haven't they told Jake? How long has Seth been Beta? Tell me _everything._ "

"Woah. Easy there. I won't be able to tell you everything because there are restrictions that still apply to what I can say... and maybe I want _you_ to answer a few questions before I tell you anything anyway. Just because I _can_ tell you something doesn't mean I _will_." He snipped a final wisp of hair. "Done," he announced.

Leah turned her head from side to side. "Not bad, Quil." It was neat and even, which was far better that what she would have been able to achieve herself.

He guided her back towards the sofa and plonked down next to her in an armchair. "You knew Embry _could_ be Alpha before I confirmed that he was. How?"

Leah took her time answering him. Knowledge was clearly a valuable currency at the moment and it would be important to keep some things in reserve. "We're not the only shifters in the world."

Quil clapped his hands. "You've met others too? I knew that if we had, you would as well!" He narrowed his eyes. "Wait a minute! Why didn't you and Jake tell _us_ when you met others?"

Leah made a face. "Settle down tiger. Jake's been too busy watching his imprint shit rainbows to seek out other packs. I ran into a very old shifter a few days ago. He's the one that made me realise that Embry had to be Billy's son."

Quil furrowed his brow. "You met a lone wolf?" For some reason he looked worried.

"No, he had a pack. Twelve people, including a woman who I also met." The tension in Quil's face eased and Leah smiled just think of Eira. She was no longer the only female wolf in the history of forever. She was just one of many.

"I've done a lot of talking," she complained to Quil. "You need to answer my questions. How did Embry become Alpha?"

Quil stayed silent and Leah realised that that question was squarely in the _can't/won't_ category.

"Okay. How long has Seth been Beta?"

Quil bit his lower lip. "For as long as Embry's been Alpha. They're best friends and roommates. You know first-hand how tight the bond is."

Leah put her hand to her chest. _It physically hurt to think that she was so out of touch with her own brother's life._ Another thought crept into her head: _roommates_. Seth had said she wasn't wearing his shirt... Did that mean she had inadvertently grabbed Embry's clothing? For some strange reason, the idea that she might have something of his was a comfort to her.

"Listen, Leah, I gotta go on patrol now, but I set up the sofa bed in the spare room while you were in the shower and there's food on the counter, along with a spare key. I've got work first thing tomorrow, but I'll meet you at Collin's birthday bash, okay? It starts at noon."

Leah didn't answer him. She was too busy replaying all her conversations with Seth in her mind.

"Leah?"

She shook her head. "Sure, sure. Collin's birthday party at noon. Where is it again?"

"At your house. That's where most pack functions are these days."

"See you there then." She plastered a smile on her face and tried to look cheerful, but she was pretty sure she just looked demented. "Is there anything else I should know before I go to a wolf gathering?"

Quil grimaced. "Uhh... make sure you don't say anything wolf-related around Seth's girlfriend, Amanda. They haven't been together very long, so she doesn't know the secret."

Leah turned this new piece of information over in her mind. Seth had never mentioned a girlfriend when they spoke on the phone. "Is she his imprint?"

The younger wolf's face shifted into an impassive mask. "No."

Leah felt like she'd done something wrong but she couldn't work out what. She shifted her weight from one foot to another, waiting for Quil to either say something else or leave.

He rubbed his temples before reaching out to grab Leah's hand. "Leah, there's so much I _would_ tell you if I had the opportunity. I'll talk to Embry about it, okay?"

"Okay," she said, repeating the words on autopilot as Quil rushed out the door.

It was only when she finally laid her head down to rest, after eating her first human meal in months, that she thought to ask herself.

 _How many more bombshells could there possibly be?_

~~~TAC~~~

Leah was too tired to dream. Sleep claimed her the moment her head touched the pillow, but somewhere just beyond her conscious mind an accented voice slithered towards her.

"Leah," it whispered softly, while a blow horn sounded.

"Leah," it repeated itself while the horn resonated against the echoes of waves crashing against the seashore.

"Leah," it persisted, reaching out to the mind that was dead to the world.

"I shall not give up."

~~~TAC~~~

It was five minutes to twelve when Leah woke up. She'd slept for almost fourteen hours. To be fair, it was probably the first time she'd slept in half a week, but she was still surprised that she'd been out for that long.

She ate a hurried breakfast and had another blissful shower before rifling through the cardboard box Seth had given her. She found a pair of shorts and a tank top and threw them on before drinking half of the carton of milk that Quil had left in the fridge.

She stared at herself critically in the mirror for a long time. She had no make-up or shoes and for some reason a bit of lipstick and a pair of high heels was all she could think about. She wanted to look good when they all saw her. She wanted to look good when _he_ saw her. She thought she had come home to tell him a huge secret, but now that she knew he was aware of his heritage already, she confessed to herself that it was more than that. She wanted to _see_ him. She'd thought about him more over the years than she would ever admit. He had always been so kind to her, even when she was the worst version of herself. When she went over the things she had said the last time they had met, her heart filled with shame.

Still, she couldn't have done too much damage. He was the Alpha of a wolf pack, so things were clearly going reasonably well for him.

She licked her lips and pinched her cheeks before casting herself another disapproving stare. It would have to do, but it wasn't ideal.

She arrived at the front gate of her family home at the exact same time as an older-looking version of Jared's imprint.

"Kim?" Leah asked.

The girl's jaw dropped open. "Oh, wow! LEAH! It _is_ true. Jared said something last night, but I didn't really believe it until I saw you just now. Not that I don't trust Jared because obviously he wouldn't tell me lies, but it doesn't feel real sometimes until you see it yourself in the flesh!"

Kim pulled Leah into an uncomfortable hug and Leah sighed internally. She'd forgotten how annoying Kim's incessant babbling was. She followed the young girl around the side of the house.

"C'mon. Everyone is going to be so stoked to see you. It's been years, right? How come you didn't come back? I guess you've been busy at College. Seth told us about how well things were going. Your mother must be so proud," Kim spoke without ever seeming to draw breath.

Leah was stunned to see how many people were packed into her back garden and she hung back a little, taking it all in before anyone noticed her. Sam and Emily were sitting on the cane sofa. There was a baby in Emily's arms and Sam was speaking to a boy who looked to be around four. _Anna and Levi_ , Leah thought. Seth had told her about Sam's kids. Rachel and Paul looked to be setting up a jumping castle with the help of a much bigger version of the Claire she used to know.

Jared was tossing beers into a cooler while Collin and Brady stood in a loose circle with two girls Leah didn't recognise.

"Who are they?" she asked Kim, trying to make her pointing discreet.

Kim stopped mid-word, surprised that Leah had interrupted her stream of consciousness waffle. "That's Jenny and Mia, Collin and Brady's imprints. Collin and Jenny are getting married next weekend."

Leah couldn't hide her astonishment. "Isn't Collin having his eighteenth birthday today?"

"Yep. That's right," Kim confirmed. Leah realised that Kim wasn't hearing the unspoken question in her words. _Unless you were Bella Swan, what kind of crazy person gets married at eighteen?_

"Why don't you go help Jared?" she suggested. "He looks like he needs a hand."

At the mention of her wolf, Kim dashed off without a second thought and Leah took in the rest of her surroundings. There were a number of other vaguely familiar younger shifters in the yard, and girls she assumed were friends or partners. Close to ten other wolves had been part of Sam's pack by the time of the Volturi battle, but Leah had had very little contact with them then and struggled to remember their names all these years later. She was so distracted that she didn't notice the figure approaching her.

"You must be Leah. Hi!" Leah turned to see the prettiest girl she had ever met smiling at her with her hand outstretched. She was half a foot shorter than Leah with olive skin and almond shaped eyes the exact colour of her dark waist-length hair.

"Hi," Leah responded tentatively, grasping the small fingers and giving them a perfunctory squeeze.

"I'm Georgia. I'm so sorry about last night. We really need to get working on the extension, but there hasn't been much time in the past few years. Once we build above the garage, there'll be a proper spare bedroom for when you come to visit."

Leah realised that this must be another one of Seth's roommates, although why she was talking about renovating the Clearwater family home was a complete mystery.

"Do you want a soft drink or something?"

Leah nodded. "Coke, please." Her stomach flipped at the thought of something as indulgent as cola. _It had been a long time since she had party food_. She watched as Georgia sauntered back into the house. She almost wanted to call her back so that she could look at her some more. She was like a painting in a gallery, full lips and long lashes and a slight gap between her top front teeth that was oddly endearing.

She moved further into the shade of one of the trees bordering the yard to continue observing the pack. A little girl - who couldn't have been more than two - was clutching a bedraggled Barbie doll which she was using to bop Levi Uley on the head, even though the boy was almost twice her size. Leah chuckled to herself. There was something satisfying about watching the next generation of Uley men be kept in line.

The thud of the screen door swinging open and shut saw Leah glancing back towards the top of the yard. Her heart leapt in her chest as she sighted the very person that had unknowingly brought her back to La Push: Embry Call.

 _All seven feet of him_.

Leah gasped. If she thought Seth had changed, he had nothing on Embry - who was now easily the biggest of the wolves. He had once been tall and lean, but his enormous body now carried more bulk. His hair framed his impossibly handsome face and sat messily at his shoulders, falling back as he tipped his head to take a swig of beer. He seemed to be surveying the yard in a manner not dissimilar to Leah's own review and as his head turned he spotted her huddling oddly under the sparse autumn foliage.

 _She wanted to run to him and squeeze him._

 _She wanted to ask him a million questions._

 _She wanted to glimpse those eyes again and say something happy to make up for that last time where she had been unnecessarily cruel._

She wanted so many things, but she stayed rooted to the spot and - after giving her a cursory nod of acknowledgment - he moved forward to where Paul was fiddling with the knobs on the barbeque.

"Are you Leah?" a voice called.

Leah didn't respond. Her eyes were locked on Embry. She wasn't sure what she had expected to happen when she encountered him, but nonchalance was not it.

"I'm Amanda," the voice persisted.

Slowly, slowly, Leah turned her head to the blonde girl smiling at her, two sodas in her hands.

"Seth did something weird to the cake and Georgia's trying to fix it. She asked me to bring you a drink."

"You're his girlfriend," Leah said numbly.

"Sure am," the girl responded eagerly. "I'm really excited to meet you. I've heard a lot about you!"

 _Really? I've heard absolutely nothing about you..._ For the first time in a while Leah's mind went to the snarky place it had occupied before she had left the reservation. Something about Embry's indifference made her want to yell and throw things, but he'd been perfectly polite and was clearly busy so she tried to convince herself to snap out of her funk.

"Thanks," she mumbled, taking a gulp of the drink. She guzzled too fast and the soda fizzed up her nose.

Amanda giggled and Leah bit back a nasty retort. Luckily, a shrieking sound distracted both women and they moved to see the toddler with the doll laughing as Paul sprayed her and Levi with the garden hose while they jumped up and down.

"Who is that girl?" Leah wondered, not realising she was speaking out loud.

"That's Victoria." Amanda said helpfully. "Embry and Georgia's little girl."

* * *

 **/**

 **/**

 **A/N: Should I run and hide now?**

 _Review if you like and let me know if you have questions. If I've done my job right, you should have dozens!_


	3. The Dark Side Of Love

**3.** **The Dark Side Of Love**

 **Suggested listening: "The Devil's Crayon" by Wild Beasts, "When the weather is fine" by Thirsty Merc and "Red Right Hand" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds**

* * *

"This is great, Leah," Seth murmured into her ear.

Cake disaster averted, he found her hovering at the edge of the backyard and wasted no time dragging her into the centre of festivities so that everyone could fawn over her.

Leah couldn't fault her little brother, and everyone was being much nicer to her than she had anticipated - but she couldn't stop her racing mind and heart, even as she made sure to laugh along with the crowd (first at Paul's crass humour and later at the younger wolves playing "toss the lollies" where they literally jumped to catch the treats they were lobbing at each other).

He was _engaged_. Engaged!

 _And he had a child_.

Leah wasn't sure what troubled her more.

She kept sneaking glances at him, but since their shared look earlier he hadn't cast his eye her way at all. He was simultaneously standing aside from the party while also being the force it orbited around. Leah didn't miss the way the pack took their cues from him. He was just as quiet as she remembered, but with a new authority that affected even her.

She might have reduced herself to outright gawking if not for Jared dragging her into a conversation about Alaska with Kim and a wolf who introduced himself as "David".

The pack asked her every conceivable question about her time away, without ever once referring to the other wolf she had departed with. Leah was grateful for the unexpected sensitivity. She wasn't ready to talk about it, especially not with so many people who had probably been thrilled to see the back of her all those years ago.

"Leah," a voice called from behind her.

She stilled. She'd known ever since she'd arrived that she'd have to have this conversation, but somehow Emily's timid approach still caught her off guard.

"Hey," she replied with a warmness that surprised her. It didn't hurt to see Emily or the baby in her arms the way she had feared it would. Maybe time really did heal all wounds.

"This cutie must be Anna," Leah added, peering down at the tiny creature. She felt a small twinge in her chest, not because it was Sam's child, but because this was _family_. A part of her bloodline whose birth she had missed. "How old is she?"

"Nine months," Emily answered, pleased by Leah's interest.

"She's big!"

"Levi was even larger at that age," a familiar baritone interjected.

There he was – the reason for all of her previous woes: Samuel Uley, smiling tentatively at her as if she might sock him in the jaw at any moment.

 _Once upon a time she probably would have_.

Still, when she looked at her first love's face she didn't feel the nostalgia or endless longing that characterised her early days as a wolf. He was her cousin's husband and someone she used to be close to, but he wasn't anything to her anymore.

Not even an enemy.

It was liberating to feel so unburdened by the situation. She made small talk, asking about their home and catching up on everything to do with Levi, who she learned was just three and a half. She made soothing noises in all the right places, but her mind swirled back to Embry. She knew she had no right to him – she'd rejected him that day in the woods and they'd never as much as kissed, but her heart was reeling from the news that he'd moved on.

The instinct to run to him when she'd learned he couldn't imprint had been unearthly. Not once as her paws had thundered cross country had she considered that his inability to imprint simply left him free to choose a partner in the ordinary way – just like Eira had.

She couldn't blame him, not knowing how she had treated him.

She tried to focus on Sam as he told her something that he clearly thought was very interesting about the consistency of Anna's poos. Leah's first instinct was to tell Sam that she didn't give a shit – pun intended - but her new peace with him and Emily was fragile and he was acting like it really was important discussion material so she nodded politely. The fact that she was only partially listening to Sam allowed her to concentrate more on his face... _there was something wrong with his face._ She couldn't put her finger on it, but it was almost like his nose was off-centre and crooked. He paused to laugh at something Emily was saying and as he gave her a light squeeze, Leah noticed the puckered flesh on his forearm.

"What the fuck happened there?" she asked, gesturing at his disfigured limb.

Sam's face became wary and Leah's question was met with a loaded silence.

"Sam?" she pressed.

"It's nothing," Emily interposed. "Do you want to hold Anna? Here," she passed the child into Leah's arms without waiting for her answer. "Go to Auntie Leah," she told her daughter.

Leah paused while she adjusted to the swaddled bundle she was now cradling. Anna was adorable, but not so much so that it could distract her from the blemishes on a creature that she knew had super healing powers.

"So, are you going to tell me about that?" Leah turned her attention back to Sam, noticing that there was another pockmark on his neck.

"She likes you," Emily observed as Anna gurgled sweetly.

"It looks like you were mauled, Sam!" Leah ignored Emily's interruption. The more she focussed on Sam, the more damage she noticed. She thrust the child back towards her cousin as she peered at her ex boyfriend.

"So what happened with Jacob?" Emily jumped in again. "It seems like he's pretty upset these days."

The distraction was complete. Even thought Leah had consciously noted the way people had avoided the issue, she was completely unprepared for the directness of Emily's question. She drew a shaky breath. Even if she had finally moved beyond Emily and Sam's betrayal, they were the last people she wanted to discuss her latest failed relationship with. Particularly given imprinting was the reason for its failure. She felt her eyes watering a little at the edges.

"Bitch!" a girl hissed from behind her. Leah turned to see Georgia scowling at Emily. "Leah, can you please help me with some... potatoes... in the kitchen." The tiny girl turned on her heel and Leah scurried after her, grateful for the reprieve.

Georgia was rustling around the shelves at the back of the pantry. Leah wasn't sure what was kept there now, but it used to house her mother's stash of port.

"Here it is!" Georgia exclaimed as she swung around with a bottle of tequila in her hand.

"Umm, it's kind of early," Leah noted, not sure how she felt about being rescued by the only person at the party she was inclined to resent just as much as Emily.

"It's after noon and I'm not going to tell anyone," Georgia answered as she filled three shot glasses. "Bottom's up," she added as she passed one to Leah.

"Cheers," Leah mumbled as she poured the burning liquid down her throat, trying not to look at the elegant ring that sparkled on the fourth finger of Georgia's left hand.

"You should have punched her in the face," Georgia fumed. "Just because Sam's pride is wounded she hits below the belt. What a cunt."

"Right," Leah said in a daze. _She knew she was missing something but she couldn't work out what._ She stretched her arm out as Georgia poured her a top-up, spilling a little when the screen door crashed as another person entered the house.

"Fuck G, lucky you're not breastfeeding anymore," Rachel observed, grabbing the third glass sitting on the counter."

"Whatever." Georgia waved a hand dismissively. "I was so tempted when Vicky was teething to have a few voddies before I expressed... I felt so helpless."

Rachel stared at her in horror. "You didn't, right? It would have been like giving her a White Russian."

"Of course not!" Georgia laughed. "Embry would have crucified me." She frowned as she bit her lower lip. "I'm a good mother... despite what Emily says."

"Of course you are," Rachel soothed. "Was she hassling you again?"

Georgia shook her head before inclining it towards Leah. "No. Today she has another target."

Rachel sighed. "More Sam imprint nonsense?"

"No... the other one..." Georgia answered softly.

Rachel pulled a face.

Leah felt almost dizzy from trying to follow the exchange around her. It was clear that Georgia and Rachel were close friends, but she couldn't understand why they both seemed so hostile towards Emily or why Rachel looked down on imprinting. She could see why Georgia might resent it – maybe she didn't know that Embry as Alpha couldn't imprint - but Rachel was part of the imprint club.

"You're Paul's imprint," she said to Rachel, voicing her train of thought. She'd always thought of Rachel, Kim and Emily as a little triumvirate.

"I'm Paul's _girlfriend_ ," Rachel corrected her. "The imprint thing doesn't bother me one way or the other."

Leah didn't know what to make of that.

"Anyhoo," Georgia spoke as she poured Rachel another shot. "To Leah. Welcome home. Seth's always raved about you and now I get to meet you. Today is a good day."

The three girls clinked glasses.

"We should go shopping," Georgia announced. "I bet there's some stuff you need."

Leah felt her eyes watering again. She really didn't want to like Georgia, but it was hard to feel ill will towards someone who seemed genuinely concerned with her welfare.

"Can you get some of your stuff sent over?" Rachel asked. "You're pretty chummy with the blond Cullen, right? It would be a shame to buy a bunch of new things if you already have what you want someplace else."

Leah turned the question over in her mind. She definitely needed her belongings if she was staying put, but she wasn't sure of her plans - and more than that - it would be impossible for Rosalie to send her anything without Jacob knowing. Even if she managed to get in and out of the house Leah had shared with Jacob without him noticing, Edward would read what she had done in her head and it was unlikely he would keep that information from Jacob.

"It's complicated," Leah replied slowly. "And I'm not really sure if I'll be here very long."

"What?" Georgia shrieked. "You have to stay, Leah. I haven't seen Seth so relaxed... ever. He won't be able to handle it if you go again."

"Settle G," Rachel warned before turning back to eye Leah carefully. "You're my friend, Leah. I've known you your whole life and I care about you, but you _need_ to call Jacob and sort out your shit. It's been more than six months and he's going out of his mind with worry. Tell him you're fine but that you don't wanna be with him anymore."

Leah scowled. She loved Rachel Black right back and was oddly touched by the declaration, but any fond feeling was overridden for her immense dislike for being told what to do.

"I doubt very much that Jacob actually cares where I am," Leah snapped, trying to squish the guilt that had been niggling at her since Seth had told her of his frequent calls. "I'll call him when and _if_ I feel like it."

"Don't you remember how you felt when Sam just disappeared and you had no idea what was going on?" Rachel pressed. "Don't purposefully hurt my brother Leah. I don't know what you've been doing since you left him, but I assume you didn't know how desperate he is to know that you're safe. Call him _soon_ , or I'll do it for you."

Leah growled at the threat.

"Mama, mama! Unca Seth says cake time!" a little voice yelled from outside.

Georgia smiled. "Coming sweetie," she called. "Here." She thrust a stack of paper plates and napkins towards Rachel and ushered her outside. She waited until the girl was out of earshot before placing a hand on Leah's shoulder. "She won't say anything Leah."

Leah furrowed her brow. "She sounded pretty serious to me, Georgia."

Georgia shrugged. "No one likes to see their family hurting, but _I promise you_ , Rachel won't get involved in anything between you and Jacob."

"How do you know?" Leah questioned.

Georgia smiled, showing the gap between her teeth. "Because... Embry already ordered everyone not to."

~~~TAC~~~

"Thank you all for coming to celebrate my birthday," Collin announced once everyone had had their fill of cake and cries of "speech, speech" had filled the yard. "I'm looking forward to seeing you all next Friday for the buck's night and on Saturday at the wedding."

"Are you sure the wedding's going ahead now that Leah's back?" a voice shouted from the other end of the garden.

Collin blushed. "Yes... well... while I _may_ have had a crush on the great Leah Clearwater back in the day, _when I was thirteen years old_ , I could not be happier to be marrying my soul mate Jenny."

Leah shifted her weight awkwardly. Nobody seemed to have any filters at pack functions. She wasn't at all sad to have missed more than four years of them.

"Of course," Collin continued, "If they want to jelly wrestle or something that's okay too."

Leah lobbed a slice of cake at Collin, wrinkling her nose in distaste as his wolf reflexes allowed him to catch it and then shove it entirely in his mouth.

Paul laughed, slapping Leah on the back. "You have no idea how much I've missed you getting all fired up she-wolf."

"Really?" Leah asked wryly. She remembered Paul's distain for her all too well.

He had the good sense to look embarrassed. "Aw... C'mon Leah. We were all shitheads back then. We didn't know any better. We never wanted you to leave."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Uh, huh." She was facing Paul but she found herself distracted by Quil's arrival and the serious conversation he seemed to be having with Embry.

"And we've already got a bet going as to who you'll punch in the face first."

Leah sneered and let her eyes wander downwards. "What makes you think I'd pick anyone's _face_ as a punching target?" The backyard erupted into laughter and Paul instinctively took a step back.

"You have my permission, Leah," Rachel grinned as she hollered from the jumping castle and Leah returned the smile. It seemed that the earlier tension was behind them. It was disconcerting to be around people that she had such a lengthy history with, but simultaneously felt like strangers.

She looked around for Seth but realised that he was wrapped around Amanda. He appeared to be devouring her and his hands were everywhere.

"Gross," she mumbled.

"I know," Georgia agreed, materialising behind her.

"What's happening?" Quil asked as he joined them.

"Leah and Georgia are bitching about Tits McGhee," Paul responded.

Quil raised an eyebrow at Georgia. "Aren't you the one that encouraged him to date?"

Georgia threw up her hands. " _Yes_. He couldn't keep banging a different girl every weekend. It's not healthy - but I wanted him to find a _nice girl_. Not some floosie whose defining attribute is her awesome rack."

Paul snickered. "He's nineteen, Georgia. You're lucky he's not having a three-way with Tits and her sister."

"She's got a sister?" David piped up and Georgia groaned.

Leah took a step back and saw Embry striding into the house. Not really sure why, she found herself following him. She had so many unanswered questions

He was facing her when she let herself inside and Leah squared her shoulders. Even though the girl that had hurt him wanted to apologise, the wolf inside her told her it was important to stand her ground.

He waited in silence. Unfortunately Leah's wolf – while definitive on body language – did not have much to offer in the way of conversation. Embry folded his arms and leaned back against the kitchen counter. The muscles in his arms rippled as he shifted position and Leah found herself fascinated by his form. He was so much better built than the last time she saw him, but there was still a litheness to him.

"So," she said, swallowing quickly as she cleared her throat.

He tipped his head to one side and Leah resisted the urge to lower her gaze.

"So," she tried again. "You named your kid after the redhead vampire that tried to kill us all?"

Leah wanted to palm her face at the stupidity of her comment, but the side of Embry's lip curved upwards. "It's a family name for Georgia... and it fit with the theme."

"Theme?" Leah questioned.

"The soap opera theme," Embry elaborated. "Pretty much every soap has a Victor or a Victoria... or both."

Leah shook her head in confusion until she remembered hearing somewhere that Embry had been named after a soap star. "Right," she said, wondering why she had chosen to ask him about his daughter.

"Besides," Embry went on. "It's a nice name and I figured there was no point getting bogged down in the past. That's all done now."

On its face he was simply answering her question, but something in the firmness of Embry's voice made Leah wonder if he was suggesting that there were other things in the past that he was no longer troubled by. While the idea that he wasn't angry at her was a relief, her stomach knotted a little at the thought that there was nothing left between them.

"Embry, I just want to say how sor-"

A ringing sound interrupted them and Leah forced herself to wipe the frustration from her face as Embry reached behind himself to answer the phone.

"Hi Jake," Embry said smoothly.

"Hey man, how did you know it was me?" Jacob's voice travelled down the phone and Leah's supernatural hearing made her flinch at the familiar sound of her once-lover.

"Lucky guess," Embry answered.

"I know I'm annoying you all," Jacob rushed on, "But I just had to check. Has anyone heard anything today?"

Embry paused. Leah's heart stuttered. _Was he going to rat her out?_ She had always known that Jake would leave her for Renesmee. That was a huge part of why she had chosen him in the first place, but she didn't feel ready to have that conversation yet.

"Nope," the lie glided smoothly from Embry's lips. "I haven't seen her in years Jake. I'm sure she'll make contact when she's ready."

"I just can't understand why she wouldn't talk to me before up and leaving like that." Leah winced as she heard the shudder in Jacob's speech. "I need her, man. I don't know what to do."

Leah pressed her hand to her heart. She'd never imagined that her leaving would have anything more than a short term effect on Jacob. Seth and Rachel had told her about his grief, but she hadn't really believed it – not until she heard the agony laced through his words.

Embry exhaled heavily. "Sorry Jake."

"You'll tell her to call if you see her?"

"Absolutely." Embry's eyes never left Leah's as he hung the phone back up against the wall.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"I don't like lying to him."

Leah couldn't help the cackle that escaped. "Are you for real? All you've done since Jake and I left is lie!"

Embry growled but Leah ignored him, bring her hands to her hips. "Were you planning on ever telling Jake that he's your brother? Were you planning on telling us that you're Alpha now?"

"Honestly?" Embry asked with a calmness that infuriated her. "No. I wasn't planning on telling either of you."

Leah stamped her foot. "But you just _hate_ lying don't you?" she barked sarcastically.

"I do," he agreed. "But I had my reasons."

"Well that explains everything then," she snarked. "What the fuck were they?" Her voice rose to the point of yelling, but she couldn't contain the hurt and anger bubbling inside of her.

He moved forward and Leah found herself unnervingly close to the boy whose presence had always had an effect on her – even when she had been entirely unable to admit it.

"There were three," he intoned. "First it was for me," he raised his head and jutted out his chin. "Then it was for you," he added. An uncertainty flickered across his face before he pulled it back into a neutral mask. He moved closer still and Leah bit her lip nervously. "And in the end it was for everybody."

She gritted her teeth. "Thanks ever so much, Embry. That was as clear as mud."

Seth popped his head around the door. "Have you got to the important bit yet?"

Embry took a step back. "I was just about to ask." The urgency in his demeanour had been replaced with a steady drawl. It occurred to Leah that this new mercurial Embry was not the same boy she remembered.

"Great." Seth plopped himself down at the kitchen table and gestured for them both to join him.

Embry smirked as he slithered into his seat.

"What's up with you?" Seth punched Embry's shoulder.

"You've got lipstick on your cheek," Embry leered.

Seth blushed as he swiped his palm across his face.

Leah watched them from across the table. Somehow in her absence, Embry had become family to Seth. She could _feel_ their closeness just as much as she could see it. Her mind was awash with thoughts of their conversation, Embry's words repeating incessantly.

 _First it was for me._

 _Then it was for you._

 _In the end it was for everybody._

What did that mean?

Embry reached out to swat Seth from the side and Leah observed a large scar along the underside of his upper arm.

"Did you have that before?" she demanded

"Nope," Embry replied flatly.

Leah glared at him. The mysterious thing was getting a little old. "What were you going to ask me?"

Embry's features hardened. "Tell us about the other pack."

Leah bristled. The way the pack kept expecting her to answer their questions but never gave away anything in return was exasperating. "There's nothing much to tell. I met them for all of ten minutes and we had a cup of tea. Then I left. End of story."

"Quil said there were twelve including a female?" Seth pressed.

Leah stretched her hands out on either side of her. "See? You already know everything through pack mind."

"Where did you meet them?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. Somewhere in northern Canada."

"Did they follow you?" Embry's huge frame bowed over the table so that he was inches from her face. "Do they know where you're from?"

She pushed him back, trying not to think of how hard his muscles felt underneath his shirt. "I never said where I was coming from or going to - seeing as I didn't really know the answer to either - and I know how to cover my tracks. What is your problem?"

Embry pursed his lips. "My problem is that we've met other packs too, Leah, and it hasn't always been an enjoyable experience."

"Gee Embry, I guess that might be a reflection on the calibre of hospitality you've been extending."

He brought his fist down on the table so hard Leah was surprised the wood didn't splinter. "Alphas are _territorial_ Leah. We might be built to kill vampires, but it turns out we don't play well with each other in the sandbox either."

Leah watched as the bruise on Embry's knuckles faded from view. Underneath the fresh wound were deep lines of disfigurement – as if his whole hand had once been clawed apart and put back together.

"What happened?" she whispered, reaching her own hand out. For a moment she was tempted to rest her palm on his, but she thought better of it, her fingers hovering in mid air before she pulled them back to her side.

"We've fought a war Leah. Not some ridiculous non-war against leeches. A bloody battle with other shifters, just like us."

Leah gulped . "A war?"

Seth nodded. "So you need to be certain Lee, is there _any way_ – any way at all – that the pack you met could follow you back here?"

She shook her head. "I can't see how that would be possible. _Honestly_." She jumped up and threw her arms around Seth. He had been in danger and she hadn't even known about it.

"It's okay, Lee," Seth assured her, patting her back. "It was a long time ago."

Leah tensed. The fact that this was history to the pack made her feel even worse.

"Leah," Embry murmured to her as she draped herself over Seth's shoulder. "You need to be careful about where you go from now on. The state of Washington is secure. We've marked it out as our territory and sensible wolves know not to come here without an invitation. You were safe when you were with Jake and the Cullens – but we never expected you'd run off on your own. You were lucky the shifters you met were peaceful and not every group of wolves you run into will be. We actually thought you would stop shifting when you left Jake – especially because he never heard you when he phased to try and find you." He paused and Leah clung to Seth silently, watching as Embry carefully considered his next words. "I know you don't want to be in my pack and you probably don't want to be in La Push, but you need to understand that being on your own when you are so easily scented as a wolf is dangerous."

Leah was too overcome to fully process what he was saying.

"Everything okay?" Quil's voice called to them as he made his way into the kitchen.

"It's fine," Seth responded, giving Leah a final squeeze before he released her. "We'll get you the phone."

"What are you talking about?" Leah quickly wiped a few tears that had leaked out before straightening up.

Embry reached up into the void between the top cupboard and the ceiling and produced a small black box. "We've got a burner phone," he explained. "It's untraceable. When you call Jacob you need to use this one. Tell him whatever you want, but you can't tell him you're here."

"Why?" Leah didn't even bother trying to hide her bewilderment.

"Because he'll come here, Leah," Embry replied firmly. "The second he knows you're here he'll make his way back to La Push and then all bets are off."

"You hate him that much?" Leah asked hotly. "It's not Jake's fault no one knew about Billy being your Dad."

"I know that, but Alphas are aggressive, Leah. I don't think Jake will take the news well and he certainly won't submit to my rule. I got lucky with Sam... I stopped before it was too late – just. I don't know if it will work that way with Jake. I couldn't stop during The War."

Leah blinked, taking in what he was saying.

 _Embry_ was the reason Sam's face had been rearranged.

 _Embry_ had fought other wolves and 'hadn't been able to stop'.

Sweet Embry, whose eyes were just as reminiscent of Bambi as she remembered, had killed people and he was warning her that maybe, just maybe, he would kill Jake.

 _First it was for me._

 _Then it was for you._

 _In the end it was for everybody._

* * *

 _/_

 _/_

 _/_

 **A/N: What do you think? Is Leah interpreting Embry's words correctly or is there something else she is missing?**


	4. Love Child

**A/N: I have another story that I started writing to help me cope with the angst in this one. It is a crackfic comedy. Check it out if you feel like you need some light relief.**

 **Suggested Listening: "Snow" by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers , "Do you remember?" by Jarryd James and "Wicked Games" by Chris Isaak.**

* * *

 **4\. Love Child**

Leah's eyes were locked in a fierce staring match with the Alpha of La Push. She couldn't believe what he was telling her – or that he had the audacity to direct her to have any type of conversation with Jacob.

"What the fuck happened to you?" she whispered hoarsely.

He didn't say anything, he didn't even blink as he returned her gaze – which only added to Leah's annoyance.

"Charlie and Mom are on board," Seth's voice cut across the battle of wills taking place in his kitchen.

"Huh?" Leah mumbled, vaguely aware of a strange thudding underfoot.

"Daddy!" a little girl cried.

Just like that, the spell was broken and Leah watched as Embry reached down to scoop up the toddler, his face transformed from hard and business-like to the warm kindness she remembered from her teenage years.

"Are you being naughty?" he teased.

The little girl giggled as she climbed up her father's chest. "Nooo! Me good!" she shrieked as he tipped her upside down.

"Yeah?" Embry asked. "Whatchya being doin' outside?" he tickled her belly before upending her and placing her squarely on his lap.

"Playin wit' Levi!" Victoria exclaimed, looking very proud of herself.

"Is Levi your boyfriend?" Quil jumped in. Leah looked at the three men in the kitchen – all of them built like the incredible hulk and every single one transfixed by the small girl in Embry's arms.

"Yeah!" Victoria answered, clapping her hands.

"She doesn't even know what a boyfriend is!" Seth objected.

"What did I tell you?" Embry eyed his daughter with mock seriousness. "No boyfriend until you're married." Victoria beamed as Embry repeated himself and she tried to say the words along with him.

"No boy 'til marry!" she squeaked as he tickled her again and everyone in the room burst into laughter – Leah included.

She felt an ache settle in her chest as she watched Embry with Victoria. There was a light in his eyes, a happiness that she understood she would never personally know - and yet suited him so well that she couldn't begrudge it.

 _Maybe it was for the best_ , she thought to herself. Embry was thriving and she never would have been able to give him that kind of joy.

Leah sank back into herself as the chatter continued. The little girl slithered off her father's lap and made a dash for the door. "LEVIIIIII," she yelled as she made her way outside.

"No more boyfriend crap," Embry growled at Quil.

Quil grinned. "The heart wants what it wants dude."

"So," Seth began, looking just as annoyed as Embry. "As I was saying, Mom and Charlie won't say anything to the Cullens about any wolf stuff, including you being here, so you can visit them as soon as they get back."

"Back?" Leah repeated.

"They're in Seattle this weekend. Charlie 's part of some task force that's trying to catch the gang that's been operating across the state and they're having some meeting there. Mom went with him for the week. It was a good chance for her to have a bit of a getaway."

"Gang?"

Seth waved his hands. "Some group of punks that like to roofie women at frat parties. A few girls from Forks have been attacked while in Port A and other places, so the Police are trying to coordinate their investigations. It's not important Lee. What is important is that you don't have to worry about Charlie telling Bella you've come home. I rang them this morning. Mom almost doubled back as soon as I said you'd arrived, but I convinced her you wouldn't go anywhere without seeing her first."

Leah tried to squish the uncomfortable guilt rising inside of her. She'd been back for almost twenty-four hours and the idea of seeing her mother hadn't crossed her mind even once. She loved her Mom, and Charlie Swan was okay for a cop, but she'd never quite gotten her head around their relationship. Nobody seemed right next to her mother other than her father. Being a long distance daughter made the situation easier. She wanted Sue to be happy, but preferred not to have Charlie rubbed in her face.

"Swell," she mumbled, realising that even her _mother_ was in on all the mysterious happenings at the Rez – and was yet another person who had kept secrets from her. "How does that fit in with Charlie only being informed on a 'need to know' basis?" Bella had been horrified when Jacob had told the Police Chief his wolfy secrets- even though he had done it so that Bella and her family wouldn't have to go anywhere in a hurry.

Embry raised an eyebrow. "Isabella Swan doesn't call the shots around here." His voice radiated power and Leah heard the unspoken part of his sentence loud and clear.

 _The only person who called the shots on the rez was Embry Call_.

~~~TAC~~~

"Weird party," Leah muttered. She and Quil waved at the hosts from the truck window as they made their way down the drive. Georgia was tucked under Embry's shoulder while he held a squirming Victoria at his other side. Seth and Georgia were laughing about something and she was pinching his cheek.

"I guess you're used to more fancy stuff after so many years with the Cullens," Quil suggested.

"That really wasn't what I meant." It had actually been fun to be at a simple barbeque rather than one of Renesmee's non-annual birthdays where Alice and Esmee made vol-au-vents and other fancy hors d'oeuvres. What she hadn't expected was for Embry to be engaged with a kid, his girlfriend to be a binge-drinking nutter who was in the middle of some sort of grudge match with Emily, Seth being the new man-whore of La Push and Embry confessing to being a homicidal maniac.

"What's the deal with Georgia and Emily?" Leah asked.

Quil made a face as he checked his blind spot. "They're cool. They practically have a crèche going so they can both work. Raising the kids together, you know?"

Leah wrinkled her nose. "Sure. They seem like real pals. I call all the people I love 'bitch' and 'cunt'."

Quil snickered. "You do, kind of."

She almost growled in response, but she swallowed the sound, instead releasing a frustrated hiss.

Quil sighed. "I dunno Leah. They're both usually quite agreeable people, but when it comes to imprinting, Rachel and Georgia have a very different view to Emily and Kim and each camp is convinced that they're right and that the other is totally wrong."

"Huh," Leah marvelled that there were differences of opinion at all on the subject. "What are the different views?"

"For Emily and Kim, imprinting is immediate and all-consuming. While it can be other things if people are not yet at maturity, it is fundamentally romantic in terms of where it ends up."

"And Georgia and Rachel?"

Quil shot her a quick glance, chewing on his lower lip before he continued. "They've often said they're on _your_ side."

"My side?" Leah wondered how – given her extended absence – she was relevant to the debate at all.

"Yep. They say that imprinting is an impulse that can be challenged or resisted. It's not necessarily romantic. They point to the fact that Jacob has been with you for so many years despite his imprint on Renesmee as an example, and because of this, they have some very firm views on how Emily and Sam behaved when they first got together."

"But Renesmee was just a baby when the imprint happened," Leah protested. In her observation, the closer Renesmee got to maturity, the less platonic he relationship with Jacob became.

"Georgia and Rachel would say that only proves their point. If Jacob could be with someone else despite him imprinting on Renesmee, then it all comes down to what the imprintee actually _wants or needs_ , right?"

Leah's mouth fell open. She'd always felt aggrieved by the fact that Emily had jumped so quickly into bed with Sam – and the suggestion that they'd done everything they could to fight it had never really washed with her.

 _Maybe that was because it wasn't a very logical argument to begin with_.

"Who do you think is right?" Leah asked Quil. After all, he had an imprint of his own. "Have you dated anyone over the years?"

"A few people," he said. "Nothing ever really took though... and I don't know who's right. Maybe they both are."

Leah snorted. "They're making opposing arguments Quil. They _can't_ both be right."

"They can if imprinting is different from what everyone thinks it is. You make your argument on the basis that there's a line running from left to right and one view is at the far end of each part of that line... but maybe the line joins in a circle. Then what seems worlds apart is actually identical."

They were outside Quil's apartment now but Leah remained fixed in her seat. "Explain," she directed in her most authoritative voice.

Quil turned to her. "Most of the discussions everyone has about imprinting are about the imprintee. What does she need or want? Very rarely does anyone consider the imprinter, but they're one half of the equation. What do they need and want? If imprinting is a perfect match, then the wolf needs something about the imprint from the very beginning. I _needed_ Claire, Leah. Not because I'm some kiddy-fiddler or anything, but because I needed to grow up as quickly as possible and because I needed to learn how to look after another human being."

"What do you mean?" Quil's seriousness was unnerving.

"I had to have a trial run at adulthood before my grandfather died."

Leah reeled from the news. "Old Quil is dead?"

Quil nodded. "A few years back... and it was bad Leah. He needed a lot of care and it was just me and my Mom. Luckily, I'd done potty training and feeding with Claire and none of the stuff I ended up doing for Gramps was that different."

"I'm so, so sorry, Quil." Leah didn't know what else to say. She still ached from the loss of her father. Quil had also lost his Dad at a very young age and now another one of the most important people in his life was gone.

"It happens," Quil replied. "He had a good innings and he made sure he passed on every single lesson he could... I'm on his seat on the council now."

"Really?" Leah asked. She couldn't imagine Quil at meetings of tribal elders. Then again, until two minutes ago she couldn't have imagined him carefully nursing a dying man. She'd underestimated him greatly.

"Seth took Harry's seat," Quil continued. "But we hardly attend those meetings. We sort of do our own council, seeing as Embry's technically the chief of the tribe, but he can't stand Billy and Billy's still the official chief. It's a bit of a mess."

"They don't talk?" Leah couldn't imagine not speaking to her father if he was still around.

Quil cocked his head. "How would you feel if you grew up within spitting distance of your father, and he never once acknowledged you? Even after you became best friends with his son and he knew- because he saw first-hand – just how lonely and rejected you felt? If he stood by while people mocked you and your mother?"

Leah gulped. "I'd hate him. I'd want him to suffer."

Quil nodded. "Me too."

~~~TAC~~~

This time when she slept she was less exhausted, less remote.

The voice called to her, stretching into her subconscious: "Leah."

She stirred faintly, her eyelids fluttering. "Leah, answer me."

She rolled over, burying her head in her pillow. Her fatigue had diminished but she was still unmoved, unreachable.

"Come to me, Leah. Hear my call."

She remembered nothing when she woke, save for the unsettled feeling that her dreams had involved horns and battle-cries.

~~~TAC~~~

It was mid-morning by the time that Leah made her way out of Quil's apartment.

He had left her a note, saying that he had gone to work as well as half a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a block of chocolate.

Leah was starting to suspect that she'd never seen the real Quil. She'd always written him off as a big goof, but if the past day or so was anything to go by, he was one of the most mature and decent people she'd ever met.

Quil Ateara the fifth was good people – just like Quil Ateara the third had been before him, and it was for that older Quil that Leah found herself visiting the Quileute Cemetery.

She stopped her Dad's grave first, sitting with him in the sunshine while she silently updated him on the last four years of her life. She missed him so much and the ache in her heart had numbed but not faded over the years. She farewelled him wordlessly before moving towards the Ateara family plots, pausing briefly at Sarah Black's headstone to acknowledge the lady who had looked after her as a child when her mother was working late night shifts at the hospital.

It seemed like every member of the pack had lost someone much too young and much too soon.

Leah wandered through the sacred site, feeling the trees move in the breeze and listening to birds singing. It was such a peaceful place, its beauty only enhanced by the history that lived within it. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't notice the small figure huddled over the granite engraved with the words "Quil Ateara III". By the time Leah realised she was not alone, Tiffany Call was starting right back at her.

"H-Hi," Leah stammered awkwardly.

"Hello Leah," Embry's mother replied. Leah remembered Tiffany as being breathtakingly beautiful. She was younger than most of the other mothers on the Rez and had always carried herself with impressive grace (despite the less than favourable things that were often whispered behind her back). It seemed, however, that time had not been kind to her. The lines around her eyes had deepened and her cheeks had hollowed. Her eyes – _Embry's eyes_ – were filled with sadness. "I didn't realise you were back. Welcome home," the older woman continued.

"Thanks." Leah shifted her weight, unsure of what the protocol was for interrupting grieving. "I'm sorry to intrude."

Tiffany's lips curved upwards. "Nonsense. You have every right to be here. More than me actually. I'm just an authorised visitor – not a tribe member."

Leah frowned. When she took her recent absence into account, Tiffany Call had spent more years living on the reservation that she had. It seemed odd that the woman considered herself an outsider.

"I didn't know he was gone," she offered, settling down in the grass. "Quil told me yesterday."

"Two summers back," Tiffany answered, voice quivering. "He went peacefully, in his sleep. Still, I wasn't ready for him to leave."

"I'm sorry," Leah repeated. "I didn't know you were close."

Tiffany sighed, reaching out to trace her hands across Old Quil's tombstone. "He took me in when I first came here. Pregnant and penniless. He gave me food and helped me find a place to live... even though he didn't know what I was doing here or who Embry's father was."

Leah bit back a gasp. Had Billy Black really done nothing to help the mother of his child – and how could he be unfaithful to his wife in the first place? Her eyes unwittingly drifted back towards Sarah Black's final resting place.

"You do, though. Don't you?" Tiffany added, interrupting Leah's thoughts.

"What?" Leah struggled to understand what Tiffany was asking. "Oh." The penny dropped. "Yes. I know... I only found out very recently though."

Tiffany reached into her pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes, her hands shaking as she lit up and took a long drag. "Here I was thinking that I had the biggest secret in town, when it turns out that my son and all his friends – who I thought were in some sort of gang, mind you – all turn into _werewolves_!"

Leah's mouth hung open and Tiffany snorted, causing smoke to come out of her nose.

"Don't act so surprised. It never escaped my attention that you were part of the gang, Leah. You're hard to miss."

"It's not that!" Leah protested. "I just wasn't expecting _you_ to know."

Tiffany smirked. "Having your son explode into a giant dog in the lounge room, while confronting you about his discoveries about his lineage, kind of let the wolf out of the bag."

"Huh." Leah reached over and helped herself to one of Tiffany's cigarettes.

"Filthy habit," Tiffany mused while offering Leah a light. "I'd lecture you about it, but I figure you're immortal so it'll all land on deaf ears."

"And people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Leah commented, gesturing towards Tiffany's right hand.

The older woman laughed. "Haven't you learnt by now that almost everyone in this town is a hypocrite? Present company included." She sighed. "That was what was so good about Old Quil. He was unusually non-judgmental. Took it all in but rarely had a harsh word for anyone."

Leah paused, remembering all the wonderful things Old Quil had done for her: giving her free candy from the Ateara family store when she was a little kid; teaching her their language; standing by her side at her father's funeral. He'd hovered in the background of all of her best and worst childhood memories and it was unfathomable that there would be no more moments to add to those she was recalling. "He was special," she agreed.

"Wasn't too impressed with me when he found out about me and Billy though," Tiffany mused. "Not so much that it happened." Tiffany added, "But more that I never told anyone."

"Right." Leah took a long drag of her cigarette. "Why didn't you?"

"Don't pretend you want to hear my version," Tiffany answered bitterly. "I'm so sick of all of you looking at _me_ like I'm a monster. I did the best I could!"

Leah side-eyed Tiffany. "I haven't looked at you like anything and I _am_ a monster. Literally."

"Touche," Tiffany responded before lapsing into silence. "I'm sorry," she finally continued. "I don't have many friendly interactions with people these days."

"Me neither," Leah muttered.

"Have you met my granddaughter?" Tiffany asked. "She lives in your house with your brother, my son and that girl."

"Victoria? Yeah. I met her."

"I haven't." Tiffany's lower lip wobbled.

"What?" Leah couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Embry hasn't spoken to me since the night he became some sort of... Wolf mob boss. He came home, confronted me, turned into a huge wolf and then moved in with Seth."

A fat tear rolled down Tiffany's cheek and Leah cringed. She could see just how upset Tiffany was, but she couldn't help but understand Embry's anger. He'd been lied to his whole life, growing up with Jake as a best friend when he was really a brother. He'd been branded the town bastard when his father was in fact the Quileute chief.

"It's all very complicated." It was the only thing Leah could think to say.

"Yes. What's she like?"

"Who?"

"Victoria."

"Oh." Leah thought about the party yesterday. "She's very cute. She's got a lot of spunk."

Tiffany smiled. "I always wanted a little girl."

Leah reached for another cigarette. "Me too." _It seemed that she and Tiffany Call were destined to have a lot of unrealised dreams in common._ "Why didn't you?"

Another tear slipped down Tiffany's cheek. "I'm good at doing things alone, Leah, but baby-making is a decidedly two-people activity... and ... and ... I guess I never found anyone again."

Leah couldn't understand that. Tiffany Call was gorgeous. She always had been – and if their chat was anything to go by, she was okay company. "You could probably have anyone you wanted. I remember Embry once getting angry at Paul Lahote for calling you a MILF."

Tiffany snorted through her tears. "That's the thing, Leah. My whole life I only ever wanted one person, and he belonged to someone else."

Leah wasn't sure why Tiffany was being so candid – although if you couldn't spill your soul in a cemetery, where could you do it? "Everyone always belongs to someone else," she mused. It was the one thing that united her experiences with Sam, Jacob and Embry. In the end they had all found other, better choices.

"I was eighteen when I met Billy," Tiffany said softly. "He came up to Neah Bay for some sort of meeting and ended up staying a while... He said he had kids but that he was separating from his wife." She chuckled darkly. "Men _always_ tell you they're separated or leaving their wives. I realise that now, but back then I was young and having the most magical summer of my life. I didn't consider the long history that he had with some other woman, or the fact that he was extremely unlikely to do anything that would separate him from his twin girls. I just lived for the moment."

Despite the tears, Tiffany's face lit up as she spoke. Leah watched as the woman relived the magic of first love in her mind. Leah knew what that felt like – and she knew just how much it hurt to lose it.

"To be fair to Billy, I think he really did believe that Sarah was done with him. She'd thrown him out after some row right before he came to the Makah rez... and I honestly don't see him as the type to knowingly mislead anyone."

Tiffany dabbed her eyes and Leah's stomach tightened. Tiffany Call loved Billy Black so much that even now she couldn't tell a story that painted him negatively.

"He went home and I assumed he'd come back to visit - but he didn't. He called and said... he said that he and Sarah were working things out. He said he was sorry and that he loved me, but he couldn't destroy his family. He told me he wanted to be responsible."

"Because leaving a teenager knocked up and alone is the height of responsibility," Leah quipped. She was tempted to egg Billy's house, but it seemed too small a response to such a huge offense.

"He didn't know... because I didn't tell him."

"Tiffany!"

"What? You try telling someone that says they love you - but not enough to pick you - that you're carrying their child. It doesn't roll easily off the tongue. I figured I'd make do... but then my parents found out - there's only so long you can hide a growing tummy under baggy jumpers, and when I wouldn't tell my Dad who the father was he kicked me out." Tiffany's voice shook and Leah reached out and squeezed her hand. "I didn't have savings or any way to look after a baby. I was a baby myself. I made my way here – thinking I would tell Billy – and at least get him to make a financial contribution..."

Tiffany trailed off. "And," Leah prompted.

Tiffany wiped her eyes. "And then I saw him. All of them. Two cute girls and a beautiful woman with a round stomach, smaller than my own, but still an obvious sign that they had well and truly mended fences... and he was _happy_ – a different kind of happy from the wild enthusiasm I was used to in him, but happy all the same. He seemed peaceful. Content. I wasn't going to be the person that ruined that. I made my way back to the bus stop in the rain. That's when I met Old Quil. I have no idea why he decided to help me."

Leah thought about her own living situation. _Who would have thought that helping homeless women was a hereditary thing for Atearas?_

"I guess that's just the kind of guy he was." Leah twisted a blade of grass in her fingers. "Surely when you showed up ready to drop a baby, Billy did the maths and worked it out?

Tiffany ducked her head. "Well... ahh. I may have gotten a bit cranky when he came knocking and told him that he didn't need to worry and that my baby was someone else's problem."

Leah mulled this new information over. "He didn't know?"

"Not at first. He seemed to believe the story I concocted... and here's the thing Leah, I'd love to tell you that once I knew Billy was making a go of it with Sarah that I never did anything with him again... but that wasn't the truth. There were drunken fumbles over the years, moments where he'd find his way back into my bed and I'd wonder whether he would have chosen differently if he'd known. I kept up the charade though, despite the fact that the idea of me being with someone else seemed to drive him crazy."

"So how did he find out?"

"He didn't. Sarah did."

Leah inhaled sharply. The more she heard of this story the more it seemed like the messiest disaster possible.

"Embry and Jacob became friends, playmates. They were pushing each other on the swings one day and Sarah watched them when she came to collect Jacob from school. I don't know how, but she must have just seen all the little things, all the Billy things in Embry. Billy's nose, Billy's lips. She charged towards me - I had no idea what was going on - and hissed 'Does everyone know?' There was no point lying to her. She'd worked it out. I told her even Billy didn't know and she grabbed her kids and hightailed it out of there. That was the last time I saw her. She died that night."

Leah scoured her mind for details of Sarah Black's death. There had been a car accident on the highway. She had been ten years old at the time. Jacob was barely eight. "She told Billy before she died?"

Tiffany nodded. "They had an almighty argument about it and then she drove off. He's never forgiven me for the way she found out."

Leah chewed her lip. "But why didn't Billy acknowledge Embry in all the years after that?" It was one thing not to contribute because he was ignorant as to the truth, but that was more than a decade ago.

Tiffany hugged her knees to her chest. "I don't know for sure, but I'd guess he feels guilty. Sarah died terrified that everyone was going to find out Billy had been with another woman. Maybe keeping it a secret was the last thing he felt he could do for her?"

They sat in silence. Tiffany smoked another three cigarettes while Leah contemplated the story she had just been told. Their earlier camaraderie had made her want to identify with Tiffany, but she could see that her own experiences were closer to what had happened to Sarah. Sam had stuck his dick in Emily and her whole life turned into a car crash. Still, she felt an enormous amount of sympathy for the woman next to her, more than she had ever imagined possible.

"Thanks for telling me," Leah said finally. "I know it wasn't easy."

"I feel a little better though," Tiffany admitted. "It's been a long time since I've spoken so freely and I'm not sure I've ever told anyone the full story before. You're a good listener Leah."

"I don't know about that," Leah muttered. "But it's good to understand some of what's been happening. Ever since I came back everything feels like a huge mystery." _Especially Embry,_ she thought.

"Coming home is hard." Tiffany agreed. "I went back to Neah Bay once and everyone looked at me like I was a whore."

"Imagine how they'd look at you if you were spotted half naked with a different guy in the forest every week," Leah suggested.

"You win, girl. Maybe you should come over to my place and we'll put my red lamp in the window. That'll really get tongues wagging."

Leah laughed. "It's a date."

Tiffany stood up. "I should get going. 'Sides you came to spend some time with Old Quil and I've monopolised you." She leaned towards Leah and then stopped. "I feel like I'd like to hug you. Is that okay?"

Leah considered the offer. She wasn't really into hugging strangers, but no other form of contact seemed appropriate after everything they'd discussed. "Yeah, it's okay."

She wrapped her arms around Tiffany's slender frame and winced as she felt the ribs in her back.

Tiffany pulled back. "You're a real nice girl, Leah. Embry was right about you."

Leah cocked her head to one side. "What do you mean?"

Tiffany looked sheepish. "I'm surprised you don't know. Quil told be about your wolfy mind stuff. Embry was quite taken with you when he was younger."

Leah blinked. How had Tiffany known about what had happened before she left?

"I still remember him coming home and showing me a beautiful sketch of you when he was about thirteen." Tiffany continued. "I asked him to tell me about why he'd drawn you and he told me that you were the 'coolest, most beautiful girl in the world' and that it would be silly to waste time drawing anyone else." Leah's mouth hung open, but Tiffany kept talking, oblivious to the impact of her words. "You should tease him about that when you see him next."

Tiffany snickered before giving the younger girl another squeeze goodbye, leaving a stunned female wolf in her wake as she made her way towards the cemetery exit.

~~~TAC~~~

When Leah dreamed that night, she found herself at the scene of her break-up with Sam. Normally in her dreams she saw things the way that she herself recalled them, but this moment was different because she had seen it inside Sam's head as well as living it herself. The combined memories fused together and she watched it as if it were a play.

She could see the agony in Sam's face, but also the duplicity that came from him not being able to tell her about wolves or imprints. She also saw her own crumpled features – desperate and devastated as he told her that he couldn't love her the way she needed to be loved.

"Leah," a voice whispered. _Not Sam's and not her own._

"Leah," it repeated, louder and more immediate.

Leah turned in the direction of the noise and found herself staring directly into a pair of familiar green eyes.

"Leah," he greeted her. Realisation dawned on her and she identified his face.

"Gunnar."

* * *

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 **A/N: This may be my last update for a while. My sister who lives in London gave birth two months early and she and her baby have been in poor health since then. My Mum and I live in Sydney and care for my father who is quite unwell, but now that my Mum is flying to London to be with my sister we have made the difficult decision to place my father in a nursing home until the new year. As a result, I'm going to be doing nursing home visits in all my free time and won't be able to work on my stories. Please do review if you are reading my work – it will definitely provide me with some much needed joy.**


	5. Love Languages

**A/N: So it's been a while. I foreshadowed a break in my last chapter, but I didn't know at the time I posted it that I was pregnant, nor did I know that while my mother was overseas looking after my sister and nephew, my father would have a serious stroke on boxing day. He's been in hospital with partial paralysis since then, and my own health has not been so great either. Thank you everyone for waiting so patiently. Life has been very dramatic lately, but I've got an ever growing bump that tells me that there are better days ahead.**

 **Suggested listening: "If I had a heart" by Fever Ray, "Fire and the Flood" by Vance Joy and "Cats in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin**

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 ** **5.**** **Love Languages**

Leah had had a lot of strange dreams in her life, but not many that involved random vikings. He was staring at her with overwhelming intensity, eyes twinkling as they roamed over her body.

"You look very beautiful, Leah." His gaze flicked across to the Sam and Leah scene that Leah had revisited in her mind. "Every version of you is beautiful – even the one from before you embraced your wolf."

Leah pinched her arm, but he didn't disappear. _This is because dream-you pinching doesn't count_ , she thought. _Someone needs to pinch you in real life. Then you'll wake up._

Gunnar frowned at the red mark she had created under her elbow. "Are you titchy?"

Leah furrowed her brow. _Titchy?_

"You look like you have a bite." He reached out and placed a hand along her forearm, startling her with the firmness of his grasp.

"I'm fine," she replied. _Dream Gunnar felt so real_. "How are you?" _Her subconscious had gone all out on this one. He was shirtless and wearing a pair of brown leather pants._ If she had thought herself immune to handsome supernatural creatures she was wrong. Her Gunnar hallucination was god-like, every inch of him sculpted to perfection. His skin was fairer than her own, but sun-kissed and glowing. For a person that measured time in winters she could see eons of summer labouring etched across his perfect form.

"I am well," he answered politely before smirking, "Far better now that I have reached you. I had begun to fear you were immune to my call."

Leah made a face. "You are just as weird in my dreams as you are in person."

He laughed. "I forget how young you are. What is known to me is yet a mystery to you."

"Everything is a mystery to me." She thought of Embry – years of secrets that she couldn't seem to unlock ate at her.

"And this?" Gunnar gestured to the crying Leah in front of them, grabbing at Sam's hands as she pleaded with him. "What is this?"

Leah surveyed the figures seated on the couch in the living room of her family home. "That is Sam breaking my heart." Sam reached out and wiped a tear that trickled down her shattered face.

"I see," Gunnar observed with interest. "He was your lover?"

"He was my everything," Leah admitted.

"He is a wolf," Gunnar noted. "A young one."

"You can tell that just by looking at him?" Leah had noticed the changes in Sam in the last months they were together, but she had put it down to a late growth spurt. Couldn't men grow right up until they were in their twenties?

"Did you not know me as a wolf the moment you laid eyes on me?"

"I did," Leah conceded, "But by that stage I was a wolf myself."

"Yes," Gunnar agreed, "Embrace the wolf and all of your senses are heightened."

Leah found herself drawn back into the scene before her, watching as Sam stood to leave and she clung to him, begging him to stay.

"He hurt you greatly." Gunnar murmured as the girl in front of them curled into a foetal position, crying on the sofa. He rested his hand on Leah's knee. "I'm sorry."

Leah shrugged. "He imprinted on my cousin."

Gunnar paused, assessing this new piece of information. "Imprinting is the name you give to mate-magic."

"Yes." Leah's voice was barely a whisper.

Gunnar looked on as Sam slammed the door behind him. "Surely when you embraced your wolf, you realised how inadequate this man would be for a woman like you?"

Leah sighed. Over the years she'd had plenty of time to consider whether she and Sam would have lasted if Emily hadn't come into the picture. In her heart of hearts she knew that the things he most wanted from a woman – submission and domesticity - were not things she would relish giving him. Still, this was a hard fought knowledge that could only be gleamed with distance. She turned to face Gunnar who was watching her intently.

"Back then all I felt was betrayed and alone." She stole a glance back and the image of her sobbing uncontrollably. "When I phased I got a front row seat to his lovesick fantasies about my closest friend, a family member. I couldn't even run away or kill them both like I wanted to because he was fucking ordering me about so much." All these years later this was what chafed the most; the fact that she'd been stuck under Sam's thumb before Jacob had broken off on his own. It had never felt right to obey Sam's commands.

Gunnar raised his eyebrow. "That young man is not a leader." He reached out and tucked a wisp of hair behind Leah's ear. "Not like you and certainly not like me."

Leah shivered, the small touch creating goosebumps and a rippling sensation down her spine. _This was definitely the most peculiar dream she had had in as long as she could remember._ "Not by blood," she answered Gunnar's unspoken question. "But he was the first to phase and he acted as Alpha until the rightful Alpha stepped up." She'd always thought that was Jacob, but now she knew better.

"He wore the crown and faced you as a wolf repeatedly while your touch was still fresh in his memory?" Gunnar mused. "How confused he must have been."

Leah bristled at Gunnar's cryptic words. "I have no idea what you're crapping on about, but he wasn't confused. He was just an ass-hat. I'm the one who suffered."

Gunnar chuckled. "All warriors suffer Leah. You will know your sorrows by the great joys that you compare them to." He leaned forward. "If you remain lonely, it is by choice. I distinctly remember _you_ running from _me_." He was so close now that she could feel the heat from his breath fanning across her cheek as he spoke. "Tell me where you are, Leah." He trailed a hand down her arm. "Tell me where you are and I will come for you."

Leah trembled. She was in sensory overload. His stubble grazed against her face and she could smell the sweat on his skin.

"Leah," a gruff voice cut through the moment. "You'd better get your butt moving if you wanna eat breakfast while it's hot, chica."

Gunnar's face hardened as he pulled back. "You are not alone," he said slowly. "You are with other wolves." Leah watched his eyes glimmer, alternating between yellow and green. Just like their previous meeting, she wasn't sure whether she found him creepy or captivating. Maybe he was both.

"Leah," the voice she now recognised as Quil's became loader and more insistent. "You'd better be decent cos I'm coming in, okay?"

"This _isn't_ over," Gunnar hissed before he disappeared entirely.

"LEAH!" The hand shaking her shoulder lurched her violently from her dream into reality. She blinked furiously as Quil peered at her. "Finally! You sleep like a fucking zombie, woman!"

Dizzy and disoriented, she stumbled from her bed and followed the overpowering smell of bacon and toast. If there was one thing you could guarantee about wolves, it was that they were always hungry. She didn't bother looking at a mirror before she dug into breakfast, so she didn't see the small prickle marks that dotted the flesh just above her jaw, or the bruise on her arm that faded before she'd even finished her morning coffee. By the time Quil said a hurried goodbye as he dashed off to work, her dream was all but forgotten.

~~~TAC~~~

With her mother on a mini-break in Seattle and everyone in the pack otherwise occupied with normal routines, Leah found herself at something of a lose end.

Quil was a fisherman, which was why he chose to stay in an apartment close to the marina where he docked his boat. Seth had recently started working at the Forks Police Department with their de facto stepfather. Jared, Sam and Paul had jobs in construction. Rachel worked for a government department somewhere in Port Angeles. Leah wasn't sure what Embry, Brady and Collin did, but she knew Georgia tended bar at a new establishment on the rez that had popped up while she'd been away and she got the feeling that Kim and a number of other imprints worked the odd shift there as well.

For the first time in months, Leah wondered what she was going to do with her life. She'd spent so much time running; living one day to the next with no planning whatsoever. Coming home didn't have the safety attached to it that she'd expected it would. It wasn't the home of her memories, but was a different place altogether – one that she wasn't quite sure had space for her in it.

She wandered around the reservation and First Beach for hours before she realised that she never felt as sure as two legs as she did on four. Call it instinct, call it nostalgia, but the moment she had the thought, she was phasing and bounding into the forest.

A wave of certainty washed over her as her paws hit the damp earth. The world changed but nature didn't, and this place was etched into her bones. Her people didn't just own this land, they belonged to it. She picked her way across the mossy undergrowth, listening to the sound of light rain dripping from leaf to leaf, trying in vain to reach down through the thickened treetops that hugged each other far above her and hid the sky from view.

Birds sang to each other and Leah ambled along, breathing deeply, nose to the ground. She made a game out of picking each scent: chipmunks, deer, beavers, squirrels and... wolves. The one smell that defined these woods more than any other was the pack. There were all there, and Leah made a game out of following them. She recognised a fresh trail from Seth and Jared and there was another one that was barely a day old from Sam and Paul.

She was picking over a considerably fainter track left by Quil when she stumbled across new prints. There were left minutes ago at most, cutting right across Leah's own path.

 _And they were Embry's_.

She froze, unsure of what the protocol was. She hadn't expected to run into anyone else, especially _him_. Ears pricked, she heard his footfall as he came closer and closer. He emerged right in front of her, majestic form slinking along in his familiar grey pelt. He kept advancing and Leah stayed routed to the floor, transfixed as amber eyes bore into her own. She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, staring each other, but her curiosity about him eventually saw her diverting her gaze to his muscled legs. He let out a strange guffaw as she looked down, but by the time she raised her head he was ambling to one side.

Her fur stood on end as Embry slowly traced a path around her. He sniffed as he moved forward, his muzzle ghosting along her torso. She spotted him from the corner of her eye as he languidly completed his circle. He puffed out his chest and Leah understood the message loud and clear.

 _Embry Call claimed these lands. It was his territory._

Her wolf knew he was waiting for her to respond – to acquiesce in some way, but she _couldn't_. As much as Embry was a fearsome leader, there was no part of Leah that would surrender her right to roam the forest as she pleased – even if he bit her head off (which, given the size of his chops, was entirely possible).

She cocked her head to one side, her tongue lolling out as she was struck with an idea. Stretching herself as tall as she could manage, she stepped forward so that their snouts were almost touching, before stepping nimbly to the side. She flicked her tail as she made her own circuit around the larger wolf and he breathed heavily as she pranced around his rear. His head swivelled, glued to every step as she pulled along beside him and nudged his front.

 _Really Embry,_ she thought to herself. _Learn to fucking share._

He couldn't hear her any more than she could hear him, but she could tell his wolf read her message loud and clear.

They stood there, shoulder to shoulder, both wolves pawing the ground refusing to look away.

For the first time in her life, Leah longed for pack mind so that she could know what the ever-stoic werewolf beside her was thinking. There were so many things she wanted to ask Embry, but their exchange on Sunday made her realise that she would only come to know the things that had passed while she was gone if he felt like telling her about them. She was free to do as she pleased, but she was an outsider. It had been years since she had contemplated the wisdom of that choice.

As if he sensed the shift in her mood, Embry barked a laugh so loudly in her ear that she shrunk back anxiously. He yipped again before gesturing forward. Leah almost didn't see the small animal in front of them, although she sighted the movement of grass and undergrowth in its wake.

Embry looked at her again questioningly.

The wolf inside her seemed to understand the game before her conscious mind could even process her own movements and she found herself springing ahead in search of the tiny creature that had captured Embry's attention.

She let out a yowl of her own to show him that the chase was on and lengthened her strides as she heard Embry's paws racing on the ground behind her. Leah had always been the fastest in the pack, but something told her that that was no longer a given.

He soared passed her as they made their way uphill and Leah gritted her teeth trying to dig deeper. She managed to overtake him as he slowed to heave himself over a fallen log that she was able to slide nimbly underneath.

She sighted the squirrel, but it was the pursuit that mattered more than the target. She was ahead of him now, but he was hot on her heels.

 _You can't catch me_ , she thought, trying to convey the sentiment via her frantic yips.

He yowled a throaty reply which suggested he believed otherwise.

Higher and higher they climbed, until they reached the crest of the hill. Leah was only inches in front of Embry's frame, which accelerated with impossible force as they bounded into a flat stretch of grassland. Leah paused to take sight of the astounding meadow and Embry pounced on the squirrel, grabbing him in his mouth and shaking him. He turned his head to make sure Leah had sighted his win. She nodded in affirmation and he released the tiny animal, stretching his jaws upwards and howling in victory.

Leah rolled her eyes. He had beaten her – this time. If she hadn't been so shocked by the countryside, maybe the result would have been different.

Now that the chase was over she could sit on her haunches and take an inventory of her unusual surroundings. The clearing was covered in wildflowers, some white and yellow but mostly purple. It was a strange feast of colour for so late in the year.

Embry had stretched out in a sunny patch and she found herself sliding down next to him, sniffing the flowers on her way.

Rays of sunlight streamed across the field and Leah soaked up the heat, watching out of the corner of her eye as a large orange butterfly fluttered above them before settling squarely at the end of Embry's muzzle. She expected him to shake it off but he grinned lazily and it was not long after that she heard soft snores coming from him.

Leah wasn't sure how long they lay there, Embry's wolf sleeping while they both warmed themselves, but she knew that time was passing by the way the light changed. She considered inching forward to follow the brightness, but that would mean venturing off on her own and the animal inside her snarled at the thought.

She was contemplating rotating her hind legs so that they moved ahead while her upper half stayed adjacent to Embry when a howl sounded in the distance. It wasn't an emergency howl – that much she could tell even without pack mind – but it was a call to attention and Embry jumped up immediately, the butterfly taking flight and drifting back into the air.

The howl sounded again and Embry trotted back the way they came. Before he began his descent, he turned once and gave her a small nod.

She nodded back, lifting one paw in a small wave as he twisted back and disappeared from view.

~~~TAC~~~

Billy Black's house wasn't really on the way to anywhere, but Leah told herself that it was part of her path home as she approached the familiar red weatherboard cottage.

She knocked on the front door as she opened it, calling the Chief's name as she let herself inside.

"Rachel mentioned you were back." Billy's wheelchair emerged from behind the kitchen counter and Leah adjusted her gaze to the right height.

"Hi Billy," she answered carefully. For her whole life he had been the most important power-breaker on the reservation. No matter what his status might be these days (or Leah's changed opinion of him after speaking with Tiffany Call), Leah regarded him with habitual deference.

"Your mother will be glad you're back." He gestured to the armchair to her right. "Have a seat."

Leah hesitated. _What the hell was she doing here?_

"Have you told my son you're back?" Billy continued, not bothered by Leah's non-compliance.

"No," she perched on the armrest of the lounger, before reaching the question she hadn't yet admitted to herself she had come to ask. "Have you?"

Billy's lips curled into a shadow of a smile. "I'm sure you're well aware that Jake and I don't have long yarns on the phone. We're not like that."

Leah shrugged. "You have seen him... multiple times in the last four years though." No matter how frequently she mulled over Embry's paternity in her head, she couldn't understand how Billy had remained distant from Embry after he'd learned the truth, nor could she understand how Billy could face Jacob while they were both visiting Rebecca in Hawaii and not disclose that secret.

"And?" Billy challenged.

"And you haven't told him that Embry is his brother!" Leah was working hard not to yell, but she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks.

Billy cocked his head to one side. "Would you really want me to?"

Leah frowned. She wasn't sure if she believed Embry's assertion that Jacob coming home would immediately lead to a blood bath. Neither Jacob nor Embry was inherently violent. Embry had willingly joined Jacob's pack when he had had the choice, who was to say Jacob wouldn't opt for the same thing?

"That's what I thought," Billy continued, mistaking her silence for acceptance. "Don't worry, I'll keep your stop-over here hush-hush, although I do wish you'd do something to end Jacob's worrying."

"Actually," Leah bit her lip, only realising her decision at the very time the words left her mouth, "I'm going to stay for a while." Billy's eyes lingered on Leah and she felt compelled to continue talking to fill the silence. "I don't want to run anymore..." she thought of the way the forest had felt under her paws, "- unless it's on these lands." The image of Embry's wolf with a butterfly poised just on his nose popped into her mind and she shook her head to try and pry herself away from the memory. "This is my home," she finished.

Billy nodded. "And what do you plan to do with yourself then?"

Leah wrung her hands, wishing that she hadn't made the detour to Billy's house. There was a wisdom to the way he spoke, even if he was clearly one of the world's biggest assholes.

"I honestly have no idea," she finally answered.

If Billy thought that a poor response he showed no indication of it. He wheeled his chair a little closer. "Jacob never told me your major. I don't actually know what you studied all these years."

Leah cast her eyes downwards. "I sort of did bits and pieces of everything but my major was Fine Arts and I also did a number of music and anthropology courses," she mumbled into the ground. One of the major pitfalls of attending College with Rosalie was that the blond vampire had already learned everything practical several times over. Any kind of study had seemed like a good idea to Leah back then and she was happy to follow her new friend's lead, choosing things that were aesthetically pleasing, but not necessarily likely to lead to any kind of career. She'd been lucky to get her office job at the end of her study, although it was in no way related to the university courses that she'd performed so well in. She forced herself to raise her eyes back to meet Billy's. "I could work for an art gallery, but it turns out that those jobs are in such demand I can't even get my foot in the door as a volunteer."

Billy knotted his brow, deep in concentration before snapping his fingers and smiling at her triumphantly. "Old Quil!"

"Huh?"

"He received a stipend to manage the tribe's history, art and artefacts and we haven't replaced the position since he passed. You'd mostly need to manage the library and keep a second set of documents for the restricted wolf stuff. It won't pay anywhere near a normal salary but it will cover all your expenses and you can give yourself whatever fancy title you like to help improve your resume and you can always supplement it with another job given that it's not a full-time role."

"I..." Leah didn't know what to say.

"You can start tomorrow," Billy added. "Try if for a few weeks and then let me know if you want to continue."

"Just like that?" Leah asked, feeling a little dizzy from the sharp turn in their conversation.

Billy chuckled. "I'm actually not overrun with people keen on the role, Leah."

Leah mulled over the option for a few minutes while Billy watched her silently. "I"ll take it," she eventually spoke up, "But there is one thing I need to ask you first."

"Yes?" Billy queried, his voice laced with suspicion.

"Why would you do such a nice favour for me?"

Billy beamed. "Harry was one of my best friends Leah. You're like family."

Leah couldn't control her mounting anger and she began to realise the real reason her feet had walked her to Billy's door. _She_ was like family? The last time she had felt this outraged on behalf of another person was when she had stormed into the Cullen compound to chew out a very pregnant Bella Swan.

"What does being your family mean, Billy?" she kept her voice even, but she knew the bitterness was evident from her words.

Billy chose to take her question at face-value. "I will always try and do the best I can from my daughters, and those that are my surrogate daughters. For many years I did expect that you might one day be my daughter in law."

 _Was he for real?_

"And what about your sons? What about Embry? You've spent years ignoring your eldest son, despite him definitely needing you!" Leah knew that it was an insolent comment, but her veil of respect only extended so far.

Billy gaped at her. "Who says I ignore him? I've tried to speak to him plenty of times but he doesn't want to hear what I have to say!"

Leah scoffed. "I'm not saying you haven't tried recently, cos I haven't been around to know anything about that... I'm talking more about the decade or so between when _you_ found out he was your son and when _he_ found out he was your son. Don't you think he might have needed a father sometime in that time period?" The idea of Embry suffering affected Leah more than she was able to express, all the more so because Billy had been a deadbeat dad while tramping around the reservation playing the part of benevolent leader.

Billy clenched his fists. "You don't know what you're talking about – which is hardly surprising given that my personal life is none of your business. I can understand you wanting to wax lyrical about Jake and what I have and haven't told him, but until Embry became the leader of the protectors I didn't know for certain he _was_ my son." Leah opened her mouth to protest, but Billy kept talking. "I know what Tiffany told Sarah the day that she died... which is entirely at odds with what Tiffany told me when she was pregnant and in the years that followed. She obviously wasn't sure who the father was," Billy's voice shook a little, "And I was one of the more remote possibilities."

Now it was Leah's turn to stare open mouthed. Billy's hurt over the idea that Tiffany had been with other people was palpable, as was the firmness of his view that he had been grievously wronged.

 _Was it really possible that Billy couldn't see what had been so obvious to Leah in just one conversation with Tiffany?_

Leah jumped up and backed up towards the cottage door. "Listen Billy, this is really awkward and weird, and I'm not sure if I should even say it, but just in case it makes a difference in some way... I'm pretty sure you're the only person Tiffany Call has ever been with...ever." Leah cringed. It was just so gross to think of Billy Black being intimate with anyone – despite Embry, Jacob, Rebecca and Rachel being undeniable evidence that he was no monk.

Billy glared at her. "What makes you so sure of that?"

"Just a hunch," Leah placated him, "But my instincts are pretty good. Talk to her," she decided to push her luck. "Just ask her if it matters to you."

"Nothing Tiffany does matters to me," Billy responded automatically, but he seemed lost in his thoughts.

"Sure, sure," Leah stuttered, reverting to Jacob's familiar catchphrase. She had one foot out the door before she turned back, unable to resist pushing her earlier argument. "You know none of this would make a difference to Embry, right? Even if you didn't know you were his father for certain, you knew there was a possibility and did nothing. To him, it's always going to seem like you rejected him."

Billy wheeled his chair right up to Leah and she took a step back so that she was standing on the porch.

"I guess that's something we have in common then," he said flatly before closing the door in her face.

Leah stayed routed to the spot, repeating Billy's words back to herself as her wolf senses told her that he was moving further away from the entrance to his house. It was only much later, after she had listened to the strangled sobbing coming from Billy's bedroom that she turned on her heel and made her way back to the marina.

~~~TAC~~~

Quil was drinking a beer while stirring something on the stove when Leah knocked and let herself into the little apartment.

"Hi Honey, you're home," he greeted her in a sing-song voice. "You know you don't need to knock, right? I smelled you when you were a hundred yards away."

Leah smiled as he passed her a bottle from the fridge. "About that... I'd like it to be." Quil frowned and Leah realised the mismatch between his second sentence and her response. "Home," she continued, waving her hands at the space around them. "For a little while at least, until I work out a more permanent living arrangement." She wasn't quite sure that Billy Black's job offer remained after the turn that their conversation had taken, but she decided that it didn't really change her plans one way or the other.

The youngest Ateara couldn't contain his grin as he wrapped Leah in a firm hug. "Stay for as long as you want," he whispered in her ear before he pulled away. "But don't go feral too frequently, okay? There's a limit to how many haircuts I can give you... and I'm really going to need to get the plunger out and unblock the drain in the shower, and-"

"I'll try and stay house-trained," Leah interrupted him through her laughter.

"See that you do," he teased, before reaching to grab a package behind him. Leah recognised the black box immediately and he cupped her chin in his other hand to keep her from turning away.

"Don't worry about what Embry or Rachel says," he assured her as he slipped the lid off the box and handed her the small cell inside. "Do this for you... _because you need it_ , okay chica?"

Leah bit her lip. She could walk out now and ignore Quil. She could ignore all of them if she wanted to – but what was the point? She lifted her beer to her lips and tipped her head back, guzzling the entire beverage in three swift gulps before pressing the power button on the phone.

"Atta girl," Quil enthused. "I'm just going to run down and grab a few things from the shops."

Leah was certain that there was nothing they needed that wasn't already in his cupboards, but she was grateful he wasn't staying to listen.

She looked at the screen in front of her for a long time before dialling the number that after all these months she still knew by heart.

"Hello," the familiar baritone drawled, and Leah found herself instantly transported to lazy days and longer nights in the Alaskan countryside.

She took a steadying breath, bracing herself for his reaction.

"Hello Jacob," she replied.

* * *

 **A/N: I worked long and hard on this one, so please leave a review if you are still interested in this story. Until next time, always be yourself – unless you can be a Viking werewolf. Then, be a Viking werewolf.**


	6. Labour of Love (Part 1)

**A/N: If you're reading this, thank you for your patience! I have split this chapter (which was becoming ridiculously long) into three parts as this first bit is complete but the other sections need more work. Hopefully I'll be able to post the next sections soon-ish if people are still interested. : )**

 **6.** **Labour of Love (Part 1)**

"Leah?" Jacob was frantic. "Leah – is that really you? Babe where the hell are you?" Leah paused. Even though he had seemed every bit this desperate when he had spoken to Embry the other day, it was different when she was directly at the other end of the call. She couldn't deny his panic or the genuine affection driving it. She took a deep, steadying breath. "It's me Jake. I'm somewhere safe and-"

" _Where_?" He interrupted in that no-nonsense voice that was just shy of an order but laced with authority. She could hear rustling in the background and she smiled, picturing her favourite southern vampire typing hurriedly on his laptop.

"Somewhere with an untraceable phone. So tell Jasper not to waste his time."

The rustling persisted and Leah sighed. Neither Jake or the Cullens were particularly good at taking 'no' for an answer.

"So," she continued awkwardly. "How are you?"

It was a silly question.

"How am I? _How am I_? I'm going fucking crazy, woman! It's been more than seven months! I'm certain I've developed an ulcer worrying about you, which is pretty incredible seeing as we're meant to be immortals with super healing powers. What kind of person leaves their boyfriend of four years with a shitty dear john letter? Not even a letter. It was a post it! And-"

"I'm sorry." This time Leah interrupted. "You know I suck at relationships, especially when they're over."

'I don't understand. _Why_ are we suddenly over?"

Leah frowned. Maybe she should have left a more detailed note. At the time she had agonised over every word: " _It's not working and it's time for me to go. Be happy, you deserve it_." There was a murmuring in the background and Leah heard Jasper telling Jacob that it was impossible to pinpoint where Leah was.

"Because of Renesmee," Leah answered firmly. "And it wasn't sudden Jacob."

"What?" Jacob exploded. "What did she do? She misses you just as much as I do, so I'm sure this is a big misunderstanding. I'll get her on the phone right now and you two can sort this shit out."

"She didn't do anything Jacob – other than grow up, and that's the problem." His bewildered soundlessness made her want to fill in the blanks. "She's your imprint. Your soulmate. _Her_ , not me. It was only a matter of time before you-"

"I'm _not_ Sam, Leah. Don't you dare heap his bullshit on me."

"I'm not," Leah objected. "I saw the way things were with you and her."

" _Nothing_ happened Leah. I have no idea what you think was going on but-"

"I'm not saying that you were cheating." _Not physically anyway_ , she thought. "But things were changing between the two of you, and you can't ask me to wait with you until you're done with me. It's not fair Jacob."

"I haven't touched her," he hissed.

Leah couldn't stifle the laugh bubbling in her throat. "Jacob, you are always touching everyone." It was one of his more endearing features, his need to show affection in tactile ways.

"You know what I mean."

Leah gulped. His obsessive search for her was surprising enough, but she was utterly unprepared for Jacob to have waited for her all this time. It made her doubt herself. She sifted the memories in her head: the way Jacob had taken to holding Renesmee's hand when they were walking along, carrying a far different meaning after she had gone through puberty than when she had been a small child; the way he absentmindedly tucked loose wisps of hair behind her ear when they were talking; _the way Renesmee looked at Jacob when he was shirtless and about to phase_. She steeled her resolve. "Jacob can you honestly tell me that in the many months I've been away that you haven't had a ' _Do I lean in_?' moment with her or a single second where it occurred to you that Renesmee is not a child anymore and things could be different with her if you let them?"

He paused. A small silence - just enough to convince Leah that she hadn't misinterpreted things. She braced herself for the pain but it wasn't as sharp as she expected it to be. Then again, she had grieved for the loss of what they had for most of the last year they were together. The hurt she felt now was more connected to upsetting Jacob than breaking up with him.

"See?" she added softly, taking no joy in being right.

"That's not fair Leah. Of course I've thought about it, but I haven't done anything because I love you."

"You promised!" she protested.

"I promised not to say it as a way of keeping you happy, but you were obviously fucking miserable so why shouldn't I tell you how I feel? I loved you when you left and I still love you. I'll probably love you when I'm grey and toothless. I've been calling La Push every day like a maniac hoping that you'd show up there!"

"Oh," Leah did her best to feign ignorance. "How is everyone?"

"They seem fine," Jacob replied irritably. "Worried about you, given that I hadn't heard from you in months. You should call your family, Leah. This shit between us doesn't give you licence to ignore everyone that cares about you."

"I'll ring them," Leah answered weakly. Lying was hard. She had no idea how Embry did it so effortlessly. "But in the meantime Jacob, you need to let go. I had no idea you would wait like this. It isn't good for you. The universe picked someone especially for you just like you wanted it to. Don't fuck it up."

"I DID NOT want it to!"

"You _did_ so!" Leah yelled. "Right after sparkly Eddikins realised he could read Renesmee's mind while she was in utero, you took off in one of his posh cars and literally sat in a park staring at girls trying to force an imprint!"

It was one of Jacob's lowest moments. Leah still remembered how much it had hurt him. How he'd so desperately wanted to forget and the only things he'd noticed were girls that had features he could link to Bella. The universe had really listened to him on that front. Baby Renesmee might have looked like Edward, but the passing of time had seen her grow into a young woman that very much resembled Jacob's first love.

"Whatever," Jacob responded gruffly, clearly annoyed by the extent of Leah's recall. "That was then and this is now. Right now I can tell you that I'm not going to date her – I can even get her to confirm she has zero interest in me if that helps. Just come back. Nothing's right without you here."

An explanation niggled at Leah as she listened to him, one that she wasn't sure how to voice. "Jacob," she began, filtering the words in her head as much as possible, "Is it me you miss or is it just having other wolves around?" Her mind returned to her interaction with Embry earlier in the day and the image of the butterfly that fluttered at his nose.

"What are you talking about? It's been just you and me for years – how could I miss anything _but_ you?"

"Yes," Leah agreed, smiling as another plausible way of driving the point home occurred to her, "but there's you and me and our pack of two and there's you and me _romantically_. Which one do you really miss?"

"I don't understand the distinction you're making," Jacob huffed.

"Well," Leah tried to shake the image of the butterfly again, replacing it first with the pack surrounding Collin at his birthday barbeque and then again with Gunnar and Eira, "I've met some wolves on my travels and I can't deny that it's comforting to be around them. To know you're not alone."

Jacob was quiet again and Leah wondered if there was as much silence in this conversation as there was actual discussion.

"Wolf-wolves or _us_ wolves," he finally asked.

" _Us_ wolves," she clarified, smiling to herself as she stirred the pasta sauce Quil had left on the stove. "I met this one wolf who was literally a thousand years old," she continued, realising that if she couldn't talk about the pack, she could talk about Gunnar.

"I see," Jacob replied tersely.

"A little bit odd," Leah reflected as she added salt, basil and a liberal does of what she hoped were chilli flakes to Quil's mixture, "But he was definitely interesting."

"Uh-huh," Jacob mused and Leah noticed the acidity in his tone.

"It was just a thought," she hurried on. "I've always been there with you at the Cullens so you haven't had to be the only wolf attached to a coven. Maybe it's not the best environment for you." She was dangerously close to leading him back to La Push and she wanted to palm her forehead at her stupidity. Everyone she knew seemed convinced that Jacob's return would lead to a blood bath with Embry and after the battle scars she'd seen on the pack she wasn't sure their fear was misplaced.

"It's starting to sound like your refusal to come home has a lot more to do with _your_ social life than the one you imagine me having with Nessie."

Leah blinked. _What did that mean?_

"Here you are telling me that you don't love me because you think I'm destined for my imprint when it turns out you've got other people you'd rather spend time with," Jacob hissed. "What is it with the chicks in my life digging disgustingly older guys? It's not necrophilia so you're one up on Bella, but it's still gross Leah."

Leah snorted. "Are you crazy? I left long before I met Gunnar and Eira, another _female_ wolf, so you can't suggest that they were my reason for leaving and my interaction with them consisted of having a cup of tea. I'm just saying it was nice. That's all, asshole." Leah reverted to cranky bitch with ease. Jacob deserved it.

"Eira," Jacob repeated, sounding pleased.

"Yes, Eira. She's about a thousand too from what I could gather. Am I allowed to have older female friends or is that gross too?" Leah enquired sourly.

"I'm sorry," Jacob was immediately conciliatory. "I never imagined there were other wolves. Tell me _everything_."

Leah recapped what she could remember of Gunnar and Eira, leaving out Gunnar's advances and his revelation that a true Alpha would not imprint. There was no way she could say that without Jacob jumping to the same conclusion about Embry that she had. She chose instead to focus on what they looked like and the simplistic way they lived. "They're sort of the opposite of the Cullens really," she concluded. "Living in the middle of nowhere and keeping to themselves." _As opposed to repeating senior year indefinitely._

"I want to meet them," Jacob declared. "How can we make that happen?"

Leah's illustrative example was fast getting out of control. "I don't know where they are Jake – they seemed sort of nomadic…" Leah knew she had to improvise, "And they had to go somewhere right after I met them, which is why I didn't really get to know them that well."

"Oh, that's a pity." Leah couldn't help but notice that Jacob didn't sound as disappointed as she expected him to be. In fact, the way his words sounded, she could picture him smirking as he ran his hands through his hair. "If being around other wolves for a few minutes made you feel so good Leah, maybe that's a sign that you really want to come back _to me_."

Leah sighed. Now they were right back where they started.

"Leah," he pleaded, "Leah tell me where you are and we can sort everything out okay?."

"I'm really done Jake," she whispered. "And I need you to respect that – if not for me then for Renesmee. I'm sure you being hung up on me isn't making her feel that great."

"She doesn't care," Jacob snapped.

She knew him so well she could tell that he was upset about more than just her rejection, and she couldn't help but notice that this was the second time in their discussion that Jacob had seemed adamant that Nessie wasn't interested in him. It was a suggestion drastically at odds with the facts as Leah knew them. "Okay Jake, I'll bite. What happened?"

"Nothing," Jacob countered. "The friendship's a little… _strained_ these days that's all."

Leah rolled her eyes. It wasn't like Jacob to be cagey and it certainly wasn't her style to indulge it. "What's the deal, Black? Last time I saw you two, Renesmee was so far up your ass Bella practically had to give you an enema to spend any time with her daughter. You were nauseatingly in synch. What gives?"

"She found out."

"Found out what?" Leah was beyond frustrated. If Jacob had been there she would have shaken him.

"She found out about me and Bella."

Leah swore. She'd always known that was going to be a difficult pill to swallow. It certainly would have been a deal-breaker for her. "How the hell did that happen?"

"Edward and Bella were discussing the way I've been since you left and comparing it with various things my sixteen-year-old self said and did while chasing Bella and she overheard."

Leah groaned. She almost felt sorry for Renesmee.

"She said it was disgusting," Jacob added. "She hasn't spoken much to anyone other than Rosalie and her high school friends since then."

"Her high school friends are _your_ high school friends, Jacob."

"Not anymore. Nessie couldn't exactly tell her pals that she was angry at me for something that happened when she wasn't born, so she made it sound like it was something that happened in the last year or so – which means that as far as they're concerned I cheated on you, my long term girlfriend with Bella who is as good as your step sister and married to boot. Now all her friends – who remember think that Nessie is Bella's sister and therefore also as good as your stepsister think I'm some kind of incestuous playboy, and the reason that you left town. Polly actually warned Renesmee that I would probably _'try it on her_ ' next, which is what caused her to declare that I was a ' _disgusting mangy dog'_ who she wouldn't give the time of day even if I was the last person on earth".

Leah bit her lip to keep herself from laughing. She didn't want to mock Jacob's pain at being ostracised by his imprint, but the story was so gloriously _high school_ that it was almost impossible to keep the giggles from escaping.

"So now you know why there's absolutely no risk of Nessie wanting me romantically. She doesn't even want to be around me as a friend. You can come home Leah, the imprint isn't going to threaten us."

Leah frowned. He just wasn't taking no for an answer and she was exhausted from repeating the reasons she had left. She had to find another way.

"I can't be with you romantically Jake, but if you're prepared to leave the Cullens then I'm willing to travel together. We could go somewhere else and start over."

 _It was a big gamble, but the only thing she could think of that might force Jacob to accept that it was over. She just had to trust that she could accurately pick his reaction._

"What? I can't leave! Nessie's here. Even if she hates my guts my wolf needs to be able to check in on her, to know she's happy and safe."

"Exactly," Leah had him where she wanted him now. "Being with you means being with vampires. Forever. That was never what I wanted. I wanted to go to college-".

"You did that!" Jacob interrupted.

"And stop phasing," Leah finished, ignoring Jacob. "You know that I wanted to see what happened if wasn't actively going wolf and there's no chance of that if I'm anywhere near vampires. Being with you means I don't get to work out whether my body would go back to normal. No kids, no ageing, no staying in the same place for more than a few years. That isn't my idea of a fun future Jacob. You know that."

Jacob didn't say anything. Leah could only hope that being mute was tantamount to acceptance.

"I've gotta go Jacob. Take care of you okay? Finish high school this time around."

"Don't hang up," Jacob begged. He sounded so broken that Leah couldn't bring herself to end the call.

"I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now." She meant it. She really had thought her leaving would make Jacob's life easier. She searched for something that she could say to improve his outlook.

"Jake?"

"Yeah."

"Can I give you some advice?" She continued without waiting for him to answer. "The next time Renesmee's bitching you out, ask yourself why she cares so much that she won't speak to you or her parents, why she's turned this into a drama she's shared with her friends. If she wasn't the slightest bit interested in you, then who you loved in the past wouldn't matter." Leah couldn't help but wonder how Renesmee would explain her relationship with Jacob to her friends when she finally did acknowledge what she wanted, but that was a problem for another day and certainly not one she wanted to burden Jacob with. "I really gotta go now okay Jake?"

"Please," he breathed and Leah almost felt her conviction wobbling.

"See ya Jake, I'll call again sometime." She pulled the phone away from her face and was reaching for the button to end the call when he raised his voice frantically.

" **DON'T GO!** " He shouted. She heard him but she disconnected anyway.

She was so drained by their discussion that she didn't consider that he'd used the timbre that he had always been sparing with - the Alpha command – and it hadn't affected her at all.


End file.
